This article is part of my Mentoring for Tops/Sirs/Doms/Masters curriculum.
First off, I recognize the amazing arrogance of the subject line. Who the heck am I to claim any inside information on becoming "legendary"?
Well, it happened to me, and now, decades later, I gladly give away my trade secrets.
After twelve excruciating years of being in the Catholic school system in the 1960's, I graduated with a painful understanding of just how unprepared I was, for the real world of being a kinky gay male. Going to the prom with a girlfriend (twice) had zero relevance to a young leatherman briefly living in Boys Town, West Hollywood in the mid-1970's.
First, I tried to learn from men my own age, and that was a bust. Most of them were just as lacking in wisdom and sophistication as I was. Then, I found older leathermen, and I discovered exactly how to get the hard-earned wisdom that would sustain me for the rest of my life:
I asked nicely.
After every single play session, I'd ask my playmate "How could I have done that better?" Every man found this flattering and encouraging. In fact, I can't recall a single time that somebody didn't honor my request in the spirit in which it was asked. However, keep in mind, forty years later, my memory may be faulty.
I mentor younger gay leathermen every day. Imagine me wearing a t-shirt that says "MENTOR" across my chest. I don't OWN such a shirt, but I'm making a point here:
Now, imagine your playmate/date/trick wearing an invisible version of that same shirt. When he gives you an after-play "report card," he is handing you big handfuls of what you need the most: FEEDBACK.
Feedback leads to wisdom, which leads to confidence, ending up with serenity in your role as a Sir. Nothing is more sexy and attractive in a Sir. Truly. Muscles, money, penis size and $3,000 outfits are all VERY nice (I've had them all, in the past), but confidence, kindness and charisma are what impress the boys the most, for the long-term.
Pay close attention to what your sub says. Honor his opinions, even if you had a different perception of what happened. Be open to differing perspectives. His viewpoint is honest, and richly valuable.
In fact, after a play-session, it's a great idea to order an eager submissive to send you a detailed email before he sleeps tonight, listing what he liked (or did NOT like), and why. And how strongly he feels about it.
So, back to title justification: How does this lead to any form of "legendary" status? Easy! Being known as a sensitive, perceptive and attentive Top will result in bottoms flying at you butt-first from every direction, and dropping hankies and soap everywhere that you go. Your dick will get smaller, because you will be getting laid so much, you will be wearing it down like the eraser on a pencil! Before long, you will be leaving men smiling at both ends, every time! 😀
Back to being serious:
- YOUR VALUE WILL NEVER DECREASE. You know how older gay men can spend a lot of time complaining about becoming old and undesirable? That doesn’t apply in the case of a Sir who has been actively gaining wisdom, and a sterling reputation. I can be the oldest guy at the play-party, bar or other social event, and eyes will be shining, and tails wagging all around me, hoping for a chance. This advice really, really works, brothers.
Here is a secret: The sub trains the Sir. Yeah, yeah - every porn video says otherwise. After nineteen collared boys, and multiple collared slaves, I am STILL learning the craft, and I am learning it through the desires, quirks and valuable feedback that I gain after every session.
I STILL ask. Nicely.
Check this video to see how to get feedback DURING a play-session. That way, everything flows well, everybody wins, and nobody complains afterward.