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jackofftime asks: How do you gauge compatibility with possible subs?
The following statement is a fact: There are only two factors that guarantee a long-term relationship. Kindness and generosity. I know this because science has proven it in thousands of studies worldwide, and, because I am currently enjoying deeply satisfying relationships of 28 years, 2-1/2 years and 7-1/2 years, and they just keep sailing along in utter harmony.
I am assuming that you mean long-term compatibility. In order to give a complete and truthful response, I have to explain who I am, first.
I am not a porn actor - I don't look like one, and I am not putting on a fantasy show. I am decades past the point of having to prove myself. It took me a long time to accept myself, because I have been shamed, picked-on and shunned because I don't fit into the usual fantasy-Top box. Few do.
I am sweet. Really sweet. I have no shame about that. Yet, I am alarmingly sadistic when the time is right. I can whip a willing pain-pig bloody and have him gladly thank me afterward. Yet, I am also a kindly, accepting Daddy/Granddaddy figure.
And, everything in between. I am the full expression of a mature, masculine man. I cry without hiding my tears, when the time is right. I apologize when I am wrong, and make amends. I am a King, Warrior, Magician and Lover. I fight for what is right. I defend the abused. I elevate and celebrate the noble among us, as a Tribal Elder.
Mixing metaphors, I am not a single note. I am a symphony.
I Am A High-Bandwidth Communicator
Nothing appeals to me less than receiving a text message that says "Sup?" I broom folks like that off of my front porch. I am a perceptive man, and I need useful data. If I can't use my built-in Bullshit Detectors to see if you and I are going to connect on a meaningful level, then we either need to get into each others' physical presence, or I stop wasting my time.
If I am starting to get interested in a sub, then the FIRST thing that I do is to take him to a neutral public space, such as a coffee-shop or restaurant. There are several such businesses in San Diego that know me very well, because I use their place as my "office" for meeting with mentees, and horny subs.
I always sit across from the sub, and hold his hand while we chat. This is to reassure the sub. Transactional analysis is the study of how people interact. If I am standing eight feet away with him, with my arms crossed, barking out questions in a monotone, it is a VERY different experience, and not my style. I am huge, and intimidating for those who don't know me. Fear is not a good basis for an enduring relationship. So, I make it as easy for him to relax as I can.
So, during our initial question and answer visit, I am perceiving body-language, muscle-tension, breathing-patterns, pupil-dilation, and tone of voice. I am giving that man the gift of MY utter transparency, so that he can make accurate assessments of who I am, and how I show up. I hide nothing. Metaphorically, I am naked before him.
Working Toward A Common Goal
I've had nineteen collared boys, and six slaves in my life over the decades. Physically, they have been all over the map, with different body-styles, skin-colors, ages, built-in kinks and nationalities. I have been physically attracted to my subs, but that part maxes-out at around fifteen percent of the value. The rest has to do with heart, character, willingness to be coached, self-motivation and eagerness for personal growth. Pretty is, as pretty does.
It is natural for a new Sir to go hog-wild when he starts gaining confidence. He works his way down the list of willing subs, and many subs work their way through the Sirs, as well. This is natural and normal. However, at some point in the life of a self-aware man, he craves deeper connection. He makes the shift from "Quantity" to "Quality." He wants to invest in his counterpart(s) so that they are fully bonded together.
The glib answer to your question is that I like my subs to be Boy Scouts.
Mixing metaphors, I am not a single note. I am a symphony.
I Am A High-Bandwidth Communicator
Nothing appeals to me less than receiving a text message that says "Sup?" I broom folks like that off of my front porch. I am a perceptive man, and I need useful data. If I can't use my built-in Bullshit Detectors to see if you and I are going to connect on a meaningful level, then we either need to get into each others' physical presence, or I stop wasting my time.
If I am starting to get interested in a sub, then the FIRST thing that I do is to take him to a neutral public space, such as a coffee-shop or restaurant. There are several such businesses in San Diego that know me very well, because I use their place as my "office" for meeting with mentees, and horny subs.
I always sit across from the sub, and hold his hand while we chat. This is to reassure the sub. Transactional analysis is the study of how people interact. If I am standing eight feet away with him, with my arms crossed, barking out questions in a monotone, it is a VERY different experience, and not my style. I am huge, and intimidating for those who don't know me. Fear is not a good basis for an enduring relationship. So, I make it as easy for him to relax as I can.
So, during our initial question and answer visit, I am perceiving body-language, muscle-tension, breathing-patterns, pupil-dilation, and tone of voice. I am giving that man the gift of MY utter transparency, so that he can make accurate assessments of who I am, and how I show up. I hide nothing. Metaphorically, I am naked before him.
Working Toward A Common Goal
It is natural for a new Sir to go hog-wild when he starts gaining confidence. He works his way down the list of willing subs, and many subs work their way through the Sirs, as well. This is natural and normal. However, at some point in the life of a self-aware man, he craves deeper connection. He makes the shift from "Quantity" to "Quality." He wants to invest in his counterpart(s) so that they are fully bonded together.
The glib answer to your question is that I like my subs to be Boy Scouts.
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