Friday, January 18, 2019

Social Skills, Etiquette and Fitting In

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!



Jack Off First, THEN Negotiate! - Fantasy is fun but reality (if it’s going to last longer than a one-time-thing) requires that the needs, wants and desires of both partners be recognized and fulfilled, at least to some extent.

Some General Rules for Good Beta Boys - This means going beyond the letter of what he says & getting to the spirit of it. Any slave can follow orders. You should expect more from yourself.

Etiquette in BDSM- -Submissives are normal everyday people who happen to have one thing in common. They choose to submit to one person (after He/She earns said submission) and then it is the submissive's choice to choose how to address that person.

Beyond Dominance: Humility - A Dominant must have confidence, yes. Confidence in their ability to lead, to make competent decisions, to guide their submissive’s growth. But if confidence becomes hubris, there will be disaster...

Good Manners for Kinky Folks - If you’ve found the alpha of your dreams and he’s talking and interested you don’t want to lose him because you said something rude without realizing it or without thinking about it.

Welcome to the Kinky Community: Here is Your Basket Of Muffins! - Unfortunately, through no fault of your own, you unwittingly arrive covered from head to toe in Newbie Stinkeroo, because nobody is saying "This one is the real thing!  Throw the gates open wide!"

Why Do People Cheat? I'm Asking You As Much As I'm Asking Myself. - Cheating occurs when one party breaks an agreement or commitment to the other person on something you both agreed upon.

Is Love Different in D/s Relationships Compared To Vanilla Ones? - Love comes in many forms and is different in its every occurrence, but the quality of love - that which is immutable, that which remains steadfast and constant - is the same.

The Value of Taking Chances, and Becoming Wiser - Many folks are terrified of taking chances, because WHAT IF I FAIL?!??  Sure, that attitude protects them from disaster, but it also cuts off big, beautiful peaks of triumphant growth and happiness.

Internet Safety Tips - There are bad people in this world. There are abusers. There are extortionists. There are creepy people who follow you with the sole intent of collecting your pictures.

Coming Out as Kinky - Is it even necessary? When and why should you or should you not be open about your sexual interests? In this article I’m going to focus more on the negative side of coming out.

The Big Secret Of Cruising Success In A Bar - Quick and easy social skills. Think of the stereotypical horny and lonely man in a bar.  He is using corny pickup lines with everybody, and he can't seem catch a break, because he appears awkward and desperate.  He'd do so much better if he just knew what to do that WORKED.

Tips For Attending Gay Men's Kinky Play Parties - Courtesy is everything

Male Touch and Skin Hunger - Men have needs that should never be dismissed

Tips For Leather/Fetish Swap Meets - Get what you want, MUCH less expensively

Mid-Life Crisis For Gay Kinksters, Explained:  What Your Dad Never Told You - Tomorrow is Promised to No One

How to Find Your Kinky Tribe - I am very new to this community and have almost no to little experience. I am very interested in wrestling and being hazed and rough housed by masculine men…

Bootblack Etiquette - Here are some tips to help you to understand what is going on, and how to behave

Humor During a Kinky Scene - It's quite nice, if you're not all rigid in a scene

Tips For Attending Gay Men’s Kinky Play Parties - I’ve recently attended my first men’s BDSM play party. My question - a broad one - is how does one navigate such events?

Etiquette in Kinkster Circles - Etiquette in kinkster circles is important because every alpha I’ve ever known is big on respect. Point blank, you need to learn what is considered polite when dealing with fellow kinksters.

Accept Who You Are And Keep It Real! - Some can hold it together a lifetime and, for others, the cracks appear and grow bigger. Either way, the need to explore those dark feelings and desires never go away…

I Am Broadband By Nature: A Master Class on Meeting Face To Face - Trust me.  This approach WORKS, and can lead to intense pleasure, once we have established better trust… on BOTH sides when meeting for the first time before starting kinky play…

How to Filter Reality From the Fantasy - Social media has made it easy to find people that share interests, but how do you recommend that I avoid the trap of fantasy that can happen when chatting on social media, vs the reality of different scenes?

While the map may read: YOU ARE HERE, it’s only the beginning. - Hey um I’m really uncomfortable with my sexuality. To the point that I go through extended periods of hating myself. Can you help me, daddy?

Things I've Learned Along the Way - Having a kink might seem weird or complex, but in the end it’s just liking something people usually don’t. Being different. And that’s ok.

Responsibility (Landmine Story) - imlostinvertigo:  I had the opportunity to switch again, a repeat session with one of the boys I’ve written about before.

Am I Unattractive? - If a sub or son were quite heavy, would that turn away potential doms/daddies. I know each one is different, but I mean overall, what tends to be the trend?

Tips For Fitting-In With a Gay Men's Group - Another popular topic.  I go into detail. "I’d like to ask, how is the bear community or the gay community in general in regards to how welcoming they are and friendly? My area currently isn’t very welcoming…"

Women in Leather Bars - a rather popular article. "I went to the Eagle a few years back with some of my gay male friends and I had on this sweet strapless floral dress. I was told I didn’t belong there by the bouncer, like a warning and then a few patrons."

Coming Out Happens in BOTH Directions! - Owning the impact that we make in other people's lives


It Gets Better - Your desires are how you cope and heal.

The Things That Float Your Boat, and Jingle Your Jangles - I could stand in front of a whiteboard and draw diagrams that logically explain individual desires, but it would be foolish.  Desire is NOT LOGICAL.  Desire is animalistic.  Instinctive.

Titles & Honorifics - Everyone in the scene has preferred titles but it isn’t simply about preference, it is also a part of identity and can sometimes tell you about the person you’re dealing with.

Skin Hunger and Maintenance Hugs - Many folks never knew this about themselves.

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