Sunday, October 22, 2017

Instructional Video: Kinky Playing Without Toys

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
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Papa Tony:

Years ago, I started posting reviews and demos of kinky toys.  There are many, all over the Internet.

I recently realized that I had never done an instructional video where I specifically avoid using any form of toys or props during kinky, erotic play (with one glorious exception, in today's video).

This is a small part of an actual scene, captured at a local leather bar.  The style of play is subtle to watch on video, but INTENSE to experience, up close.  I am using pressure-points (a lot), tickling, licking, breathing upon wet flesh, spanking, nibbling, gentle touch, FIRM touch, upper-body strength, safe body-punching, ice-water (can never get enough of that) and scratching.


Play By Play Explanation

00:00 - Foreplay, using fingertips.  Notice that I am NOT being sexually aggressive.  Going at the butthole and the genitals right away, is what beginners do.  This is not a porn film. Masterful players are subtle and seductive, working their way up to supreme pleasure.

00:30 - Applying upper-body strength to restrain, while warming up the ass and thighs.  This conveys a sense of being "taken over" by a Dominant.

00:40 - Changing the tempo, and varying the stimulation, however briefly. NEVER just go bang-bang-bang continuously, as if beating a drum.  The goal is to cause arcing and sparking in the sub's brain circuitry.

01:35 - Using my beard and stubble to vary the stimulation, and then BITING.  Most of this action involves nearly biting (scraping the teeth along the skin), rather than actually chomping down.  When any biting occurs, it is in the form of a nip, using the just the edges of two teeth, one on the upper jaw, and one on the lower.  When you nip, do it hard enough to evoke a noticeable response, and then back off.  Doing this rarely, and then nearly biting some more, creates a natural, anticipatory tension in the sub's mind: "Oh lordy - is it going to happen again?"  When nipping, move around.  Don't just concentrate upon one spot.

02:00 - After licking and biting, blowing upon the wet area, to rapidly cause a cooling sensation.

02:10 - Starting again with the biting, but adding more forceful gripping, and growling, in as authentically lustful of a way as possible. This causes the sub's subconscious brain to panic a bit.  This causes the Fight or Flight Response to kick in, and the endorphins will start pumping like water from a faucet.

My favorite pressure points for kinky play.  
There are MANY others, but not as useful for play.

02:20 - Pressure points.  The obvious ones to start with are the sides of the torso. Many folks are ticklish.  Many folks also can stifle the ticklish response, which can fool many Sirs.  Don't assume that they aren't ticklish, when they are being stoic.  You just haven't broken down their barriers yet.  Trust will cause that to happen.

02:30 - Pressure points, again.  Armpit, followed by...

02:40 - Inner thigh.  This is truly worth finding. Center of the inner thigh, just under the genitals. There are tendons that join up there, and when your firm fingers dig in between them, it causes a wonderful response.

03:00 - Warning the sub that things are about to go up a notch, and obtaining verbal assent.  Then, following through.  Intent, followed by action.  This establishes credibility.

03:20 - This is not a hairy sub.  However, tugging (and maybe even yanking) a few hairs where you can find them, is highly stimulating.

03:45 - Dousing with ice water.  I find it hard to resist doing this in bar demos. Total shock to the system, particularly if there is no warning.  That is why I was gesticulating, rather than using words that would warn the sub what was coming up.  That is a large container of bubbly water with lime juice.  I NEVER do kinky play when using alcohol, or any other substance that could impair my judgment. This would be unethical.  In the last forty years, I have seen too many scenes that have gone wrong (sometimes horribly wrong), when either or both players are not fully present.

03:55 - Spreading the wetness around.  Later, I like to fan the wet area with a flogger, but that is outside the topic of Playing Without Toys.

04:25 - Again, firm grasp, with biting.

05:10 - Slapping, then punching.  You will notice that I am ONLY doing this to the larger muscles which can handle it, not to areas where the bones are close to the surface.

05:45 - My personal goal for ass-spanking is to strike at the area of the ass above the butthole.  Everything else is just warmup.  This area can be spanked very hard, AFTER a nice, long amount of warmup.  This reminds the sub of what happened, as they drive home.  Normally, I work both sides of the ass equally.  In this case, since I am performing for the camera, I can't do as even of a job, without blocking the camera view.

After the Video Ends

There was much more to the scene, involving Florentine and regular-style flogging, and MUCH aftercare, cuddling and talking.  I omitted this because my play-partner was wary of having his face on video, and I respect that.


My Playmate's Reaction

Activity such as this is extremely emotive. I tend to immerse myself in the moment. Thoughts of past or future only interfere with my understanding of the now. Afterward, the experience in its specifics fade but I retain the overall emotion. When I speak in generalities it's often because the correct words cannot precisely express my intent.
Often, moments after an encounter, the lingering sensations and accompanying emotion will obliterate any distinguishable vocabulary leaving me with 'that was fun'. In this case I was alight and reeling from sensations. Sensations pleasurable, painful, and others that fall somewhere in between.
Papa Tony brought me through moments of endurance and through some sensory loudness. The ice water, a pleasurable surprise. The tickles that create an interior tempest rather than an external impact. The fur tugging, a welcomed spirit of humor. The bites that are high, bright, loud punctuation. That night Papa Tony had exposed, controlled, and brought to the surface my innate nature.
Watching the video is interesting. I can now visually equate actions with what, before viewing the video, I only had sensory memories. Memories from my skin, muscle and bone. The visual overview, in my opinion, does not compare to the physical stimulation I was feeling in that moment. At times the video shows activity that seems so small, so slight that one can almost overlook it but from the sensation point of view, it was a huge moment. I'm a very visual person, but often times a touch is worth a thousand pictures.

Monday, October 9, 2017

CHANGE OF PLANS: Movie Night Has Moved, with JUICY DETAILS!


The big Tom of Finland Movie Night is still happening, but in a different location, due to a confusion that has been cleared up.  The page with all of the information has been properly updated, and JUICY DETAILS have been added.

The new location is Landmark's Ken Cinema, 4061 Adams Avenue, San Diego, CA 92116, RIGHT underneath the KENSINGTON sign, at the junction of Highway 15 and Adams Avenue in Kensington.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Gear up for MOVIE NIGHT! Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Donnie's EXCELLENT poster.

Three previous Gear-Up Movie Nights.  
A you can see, you can dress up, or dress down.

Mr. Southern California Bear 2014/2015 Donnie Vella has taken up the noble task of organizing a fun excuse to gear up if you've got it!


The movie will be Tom of Finland, which is Finland's entry with the Academy Awards for Best Foreign Film.  It's currently rated 95% Fresh on RottenTomatoes.com.

It's best to arrive early, for photos, socializing and fun!


JUICY DETAILS!

Just getting dressed-up fancy and seeing a movie, simply isn't enough.  So, if there is enough time for everything that we have planned…


- There will be a raffle to raise money for charity.  Don't be too surprised if the tickets for the Tom of Finland-themed Leather Fetish Ball (coming upon December 8) are among the prizes.

- Marc Bellenger, the Curator and head of Community Development for the Tom of Finland Foundation, will be telling us what it was like to assist in making the movie as accurate as possible.

- After the movie, we are meeting at the San Diego Eagle to talk about the movie.  Bring your ticket stubs!



When:  Wednesday, November 1, 2017 (the movie starts at 7, but arrival around 6PM is a very good idea.  Tickets might sell out).

Where:  Landmark's Ken Cinema, 4061 Adams Avenue, San Diego, CA 92116, RIGHT underneath the KENSINGTON sign, at the junction of Highway 15 and Adams Avenue in Kensington.



Here is Donnie, from the Facebook page for this event

Come and Join the Fun at The Landmark Hillcrest Cinemas for the Film based on the Life of Tom of Finland 🇫🇮

Wear Your Favorite Leather Gear in Celebration of the Man who inspired the Revolution

Known to the world as Tom of Finland, the proudly erotic drawings of artist Touko Laaksonen shaped the fantasies of a generation of gay men, influencing art and fashion before crossing over into the wider cultural consciousness. But who was the man behind the leather? 

Dome Karukoski’s stirring biopic follows his life from the trenches of WWII and repressive Finnish society of the 1950s through his struggle to get his work published in California, where he and his art were finally embraced amid the sexual revolution of the 1970s. Tom’s story is one of love, courage and perseverance, mirroring the gay liberation movement for which his leather-clad studs served as a defiant emblem.

(We will also be collecting $ for The Leather Foundation by doing a Raffle and taking donations ~ The Leather Foundation is a 501c3 that does a lot to help those in need here in San Diego and also stocks the Bars with Condoms and Lube) help give back if you can.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Pictures and Video from the Ritual Fire Event



On Sunday, September 10, 2017, Club X and FetishMenSanDiego got together for a relaxed, sociable evening on the beach at Fiesta Island.


The occasion was meant to prepare many folks for the Ritual Steel event, one month later.  It was very dark out, so the flames and the lights were very vivid, with a powerful and tribal drumming backbeat. Everyone was encouraged to socialize with somebody that they did not know before, so the night passed far too quickly.

By the end, folks were declaring that we need to repeat this event, again and again!





From Doriam:

We want to thank everyone who attended Ritual Fire this past weekend; your energies were a wonderful contribution to the feeling and fun of the evening. With the feedback we've received so far, we are looking forward to hosting more Tribal events so that we may share space, stories, and grow together.



The pre-event publicity for this event follows:

This weekend is our next BIG EVENT: Ritual Fire; A Tribal Bonfire Experience! You are invited to attend our Cross-Over Event with Club X this Sunday, September 10th from 6:30 to 9:30pm at Fiesta Island.


Ritual Fire is designed to be a unifier for our communities, in preparation for Ritual Steel. Ritual Fire is about transformation and growth, and draws inspiration from the life cycle of the Phoenix, a fire bird of Greek mythology - When tragedy draws near, the Phoenix ignites into a magnificent flame, and reemerges from its ashes, reborn.


We encourage you to look within yourselves to that which hinders your growth. By indulging in the majesty of the flames, and the energy shared beteeen our Brothers and Sisters, it is our hope that your troubles will burn to ash and, like the Phoenix, you will rise again with renewed vitality and a breath of new life.


If you've never been to Fiesta Island, it is located off of Highway 5. Keep an eye on our Like Page for an exact location on the day of the event. Volunteers are needed to reserve portions of the venue throughout the day.


II. Guidelines & Expectation

The evening will be filled with Tribal Energy from beginning to end. Members of the Fetish Men San Diego leadership team, as well as representatives from Club X, have volunteered themselves to lead blessings, performances, and interactions designed to make the event memorable and ever-lasting for each of our Brothers and Sisters.


We recommend arriving between 6:30 and 7:00pm, as Sunset is scheduled to happen shortly after 7'o'clock. As the Sun begins to set, we will have one of Fetish Men's Elders, Papa Tony, lead us through the Opening Ceremony and Blessing for the evening to get everyone in the right frame of mind for the evening.


After this, we will have several members of our community contributing to the Tribal Energy with performances to light up the night.


Attendees will be encouraged to observe these performances, and engage in Fire Photography if they so choose!


Toward the end of the evening, we will re-congregate near the main fire. Our Leaders will welcome any of our willing Brothers and Sisters to identify their weights, and to leave the ashes of those weights behind.




Flame Poi:




Here is a small portion of Kyle's excellent Flame Poi performance…




More Delightful Images...













Sunday, September 10, 2017

Review: PTSM Singletail Whip, with Instructional Video

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!



Papa Tony:

This is going to sound like an advertisement.  It is not.  I make ZERO money, kickbacks, spiffs, discounts or any other reimbursement from the community work that I do. 

I am reviewing the "PTSM" whip.  "PTSM" = "Papa Tony Signature Model".  I am Papa Tony.  This is a page of articles that I have posted online. I spend around twenty hours a week, mentoring Tops.  This article, and the energy that I spent bringing the PTSM into the world, is just a small part of that work. I get my payoff from reading the fan-mail that I get, on an ongoing basis.




The PTSM whip was expressly designed by me, in every detail.

I did this, because I want every sadistic Dom, Top, Sir or Madam to have a superb, high-quality whip without having to choose between FOOD for a month, or a lifetime-quality whip, which usually costs twice, to four times as much. The Recession never went away, for folks who work for a living.



I work closely with Steve Molla, who runs flogmebaby.com. I help him to design optimal, high-quality toys that cost a TINY fraction of what is found elsewhere. I strongly endorse the Tommy Tomcat and the Mister Thuddy, both of which I helped to design.
The current project is something called the "Papa Tony Signature Model" singletail whip.  It is utter perfection for playing indoors. I specified every detail, and they have absolutely nailed it. I've been playing with the prototype, and it is as fine as any whip that I've ever seen or used.

What makes it so nice?

- Lead shot in the bag in the handle. Perfect for balance, without adding thickness.
- Three-foot length (not counting the cracker).  Doesn’t hit the wall and ceiling when you are using it on a human being indoors.
- Perfect feel, heft and flexibility.  This encourages perfect aim.
- Easily-replaced crackers (I prefer Kevlar crackers, myself).

What are the drawbacks?

Just one:

- It's not as PRETTY as a super-expensive, custom-made whip.  It's also probably one-quarter of the COST, so there is that.

You can buy fancier whips, but not even slightly better for the job at hand:

My preferred pattern, after vertically singletailing a bottom.

I have owned many, MANY whips, and other toys.  Why so many?  I like to bestow them upon rising stars in the community, who have proven their worth, over and over:








Sunday, September 3, 2017

Review of the FMSD Male-Only Play Party

From Papa Tony:


On September 2, 2017, there was a Men's Play Party at a very large, well-equipped play space.

I cannot praise it enough. I have attended hundreds of such parties over the last four decades.  Here is what I loved about this one:

Organization

This event was TIGHT.  Perfectly planned, laid-out, staffed and no dead spots anywhere.  It was a cornucopia of pleasure, by design, and by intention. Doriam and his team really got every detail right.  This is true leadership, and I am quite eager to attend every one of the upcoming events that the team has assembled for our pleasure.

Staff

Just like all well-run play spaces, volunteers were there to:

•"Set the Table" by moving heavy equipment around, to make the space as optimal as possible.
• Welcome everyone personally,
• Monitor the cleanliness of the space,
• Check to make sure that everyone felt safe,
• Keep the snacks and non-alcoholic beverages ready, and
• Clean up and move everything back the way that it was.

Remember, these were unpaid volunteers, who were there to make SURE that men could have the best possible time, and we did. They could have been anywhere else, but they wanted to be in service to a beautiful dream.

The volunteers worked as though their lives depended upon it.  You couldn't turn around without seeing an eager-to-serve man from the organizational team, poised to lend a hand if needed.  If sheer good intentions were a power-source, they could have easily levitated the really big building where we played.

The Play Space

There were ample play-spaces, play-settings, toys, and opportunities to socialize quietly, away from  the crowd. I can't think of a single thing to make it better.  It even had air-conditioning, to fend off the horrid humid heat outside.  The last time we had ANYTHING of this quality in San Diego, it was in the early 1990's, when "Submission Valley" was still in operation.

The Crowd

Right around forty playful men stayed for the evening. This event was a perfect opportunity for seasoned players and eager newbies to mix and bond with each other.  This, more than anything else, reminded me of the good old days, when the generations would mix, for the benefit of all.  The best way to learn kinky play, is to directly observe someone who is darned good at it, in real time.

As always with FetishMenSanDiego events, it was quite Top-heavy.  Plenty of Doms, Sirs and Masters to go around.  Our newest Certified Dom was presented to the crowd at the event kick-off, and he played with (I'm guessing) fourteen men before he staggered home.  It is a good thing that he is so young and studly, because this old man would probably have had a stroke, trying to keep up!

The Play

Arriving men needed some social time to establish trust and commonality, just like at every play-party, ever.  A few tours and lessons occurred to break the ice, and then men got down to business.  The many, many play-areas were continually busy until closing time.  Sounds, sights and experiences were vivid (and safe).  Shy newbies who were bold enough to ask, finally encountered their fantasies in real life, and went home happy.

 I played for hours, and I have been in perfect Top Space ever since.  I am glowing with pleasure.

Conclusions

I CANNOT stress the point more:  San Diego's leathermen have needed something this superb for a long, long time.  The next time that one of the team's events come up, SHOW up, and I will gladly join you.  If you want a taste of the Good Old Days with a big splash of the most modern fun, that time has arrived, and in a big way.

I am SO satisfied!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Audio from Men's Discussions

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!



Papa Tony: I have been digging through old archives and found the following audio recordings of Men's Discussions that I moderated a few years ago at weekly gatherings for FetishMenSanDiego.  These were extremely popular worldwide when they were new, being downloaded, and listened to, on every major land-mass except Antarctica (those darned penguins!).

They're re-posted here, to help folks find something that may be of good use.  They are a treasure-trove of interpersonal wisdom and open, honest sharing by many men.





Being an Effective Top

Intro To Master Class

Being an Effective Top: Why is it a Good Idea?

Being an Effective Top, Part One

What is the Ideal Top?

Being an Effective Top, Part Two

Being an Effective Top, Part Three

Top Talk

Bottom Talk




Leadership


Giving Permission as a Guiding Philosophy

The New Leaders

Constituency vs. Bossiness vs. Title Vests vs. Leadership

How To Build Real Community in the Internet Age

Jack McGeorge's 2003 Leadership Lecture

Welcoming New Men into the Community

Men in Crowds: Cooperation vs. Competition




Training a Submissive

Establishing Trust with a Capital T

Safe, Sane and NON-Consensual

Finding the Buttons

The Training Process




Relationships

How Do We Meet in the Internet Age?

Relationships, Polyamory and Jealousy

Jealousy

Single Men

Turn Ons/Turn Offs



Leathermen's History

Stories From The Old Days






Miscellaneous Topics

Intentional Sexuality

Male Grief and Our Fathers

Body Electric

The New Generation (TNG)

Size Matters

Folsom Street Fair Tips

Role Play

Coming Out

Left Of The Slash

Internet Dangers

Review of the Butchmanns Experience in Arizona

Fisting for Tops

Penis: Friend Or Foe?

Fetlife Tutorial For Gay Men