Here are links to 600+ articles, instructional videos and audio recordings, concerning kink/leather/fetish history, advice, hard and soft skills, and so forth. Many articles are by me, but I have also included juicy and valuable wisdom from others, who are clearly identified.
The goal of these links is to support others in becoming wiser, more skilled, and more accepting of themselves and others. Ideally, I’d love to save folks several decades of guessing, and learning the hard way.
Newest Postings Can Be Found Here.
The Kink Mentoring Archives, Explained
Submissives, Slaves & Littles - Looking for mentoring? Here are massive amounts of relatable advice. Scroll through the whole thing.
Doms, Daddies & Masters - Many, MANY mentoring, opinion and advice articles, meant to help dominants to reach their next level, and beyond. See also: Fake, Ignorant or Abusive Dominants, and Superb, Thoughtful and Valuable Dominants.
Safewords, Defined - Both dominants and submissives deserve to feel safe, comfortable and get care and reassurance when they need it.
Playing with Disabilities - Hell on Wheels: Disabled Dominants; Kneeling In Spirit: Disabled Submissives; Power Exchange Books: Playing with Disabilities; Mastering the Mind, Doms with Disabilities
Consent - Consent is one of the biggest themes of BDSM—if you don’t know that, you really need to read up before you pick up a paddle. BDSM is built on a system of “safe, sane, and consensual.“
Dating and Relationships - Personal stories and advice, from those who have lived and learned.
Sub Drop, Dom Drop and Aftercare - Let’s understand the psychology and physiology of how Doms and subs may similarly experience a “drop” after a session!
Social Skills, Etiquette and Fitting In - How to succeed in the larger kinky community, and as a self-loving kinky person. You are NOT going to find this kind of information anywhere else.
Books for Kinky Folks - Recommended reading material, to help in gaining wisdom and personal growth.
Checklists, Communication and Negotiation - BDSM Play Partner Check List • Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations • If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist • What Are Negotiations Good For?
Opinions - Sharing some ideas that might work well for others
How-To: Hard Skills - Covering technical skills that will last you a lifetime
Valuable Links & Lists - Providing access to many more resources
Mental Health, for Kinky Folks - MANY resources and useful life-experiences.
Reviews and Toys - How to save money, time and wasted energy when shopping for kinky gear
My Personal Stuff
New Traditions, History & Mentoring - Going deep into mentoring as a goal and a noble activity, and diving into our shared history.
Creating Community Via Leadership - Encouraging and educating folks who want to be effective community leaders
Memoirs of a Gay Leather Elder: Four Decades in the Tribe - My book’s first draft. These are stories that nobody else can tell, from a lost part of pre-AIDS gay leathermen's history.