Non-Verbal Communication, Via What We Wear

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Part Two Can Be Found Here…
anonymous  asked:

what is your advice about any symbols indicating gay submissiveness that could be used as a visible mark in public that would be universally or at least widely recognized by others in the kink community (especially gay dominants) but reasonably unlikely to be recognized by vanilla society? thanks

realpowerexchange  answered:

I absolutely love the idea! Are you the next Tony DeBlase? (The Leather Pride Flag is a symbol used by the leather subculture since the 1990s. It was designed by Tony DeBlase in 1989, and was quickly embraced by the gay Leather community.) The use of symbols to identify one’s self as a member of a particular organization has a long history and wide following. I’m pretty sure if one of the more artistic members of our community came us with a subtle but relevant designs, the bloggers here on Tumblr could get the word (and graphic) out there. And it’s a made-in-heaven opportunity for a jewelry manufacturer.

I think you’ve got a great concept. It won’t replace face-to-face networking but it could easily become the first step in networking. You’ve got my blessing; now run with it!

From PapaTonyInSanDiego:

Once again, I am breaking a Tumblr rule of reblogging, but I have a very good reason - I want to expand upon what was said, so that it can ricochet back to Master Chuck The Very Wise.
My own, short answer, followed by some Tribal history:

Cruising Wear Among the Vanilla Crowd

Nowadays, if I was on the hunt for new meat, I would show up at the gym or everywhere else with a t-shirt that advertises a nationally-known kinky leather bar, street fair or business.   Something like Mister S Leather, Treasure Island Media, Tom of Finland, or just a great big-ass BOOT on your shirt is quite recognizable from a distance:

I drew this boot onto my tank top twenty years ago.  My lesbian buddy begged and begged for it, so I gave it to her.

Straight folks MIGHT recognize these signals, but those that do, are already okay with it.

Then, just to be CERTAIN that you are clearly identified as a bottom boy, then may I suggest that you get a custom-sized, comfortable leather wristband and wear it on your right wrist, whenever you are in public.

Non-Verbal Communication, Via What We Wear

I have a huge, walk-in closet, and a lot of the garments are kink-related… Kilts (seven of them - My legs look great in them), uniforms (They make me look authoritative.  Few of them will fit me any more), and LEATHER.  Lots and lots of leather.

Periodically, I invite tall men (gay or straight) to come visit and let them try my stuff on.  I take pics of them looking handsome in my gear.  I give those pics to them as a memento.  Part of my intention is to give them a thrill that they can’t get anywhere else, and also, to teach them the following gay leathermen’s lore:

A Little History

For decades and decades, men with the same desire to advertise, but only to the RIGHT crowd have already developed the following signaling system, starting in the 1970′s.

You would wear bandannas in your back pocket, or a Sam Browne belt on your torso, or keys on your belt-loop, or gauntlets on your wrist, or armbands on your bicep.  Bottoms wear them on the right, and Tops wear them on the left.  A universal, worldwide language that is still in full effect.

In a crowded street, or a VERY crowded bar (one of very many in the city), you had thousands of possible sexual prospects.  You didn’t have time to WASTE on idle chit-chat, flowers, boxes of candy, or four hours of buying drinks for the handsome stranger who you finally got into bed with, only to find that he was NOT a good sexual match for your particular tastes.

So, the hankie code was started, which made it REALLY easy to spot an ideal prospect, hook up fast, throw his pretty ass out the door, take a Disco Nap (a nap that allowed you to stay up later on the dance floor that night), and get ready for the next man.

Which Side is Which?

In the early days on the East Coast, the sides were reversed from what was happening on the West Coast.  In New York for a short time, Tops flagged on the right, and bottoms on the left.  The West Coast won out, and from then on, Top signals are on the left, and bottoms are on the right.

The ONLY colors of bandannas being sold everywhere back then (supermarkets, drug stores, Army/Navy surplus stores, porn shops and book stores) were:

- Black (SadoMasochist)
- Dark Blue (Ass Fucking)
- Hunter Green (Daddy/boy)
- Light Blue (Cocksucking)
- Gray (Bondage)
- Yellow (Piss)
- Red (Fist Fucking), and
- White (I have a Cold) 😄

We thought that was a list that covered it ALL, back then.  This belief was rock-solid, and unchangeable.  NOBODY tried any other colors.  Period.  Besides that: There was no manufacturer MAKING any other colors!

I heard of Brown (scat) eventually, but I’m not aware of anybody actually flagging brown until the early 1990’s.  I have a hilarious story about how I accidentally earned MY brown hanky!  Ask nicely, and I will share it.  It’s more funny than gross.

Then, when folks did a lot of dying, and the bathhouses closed, and the Internet came along, and the bars closed, and the vast areas around the “Gay Neighborhood” became more and more diverse and open-minded for EVERYBODY, then folks started dicking around with the color charts.  They added more, and more, and more choices, and posting them online.  They made a fun project out of it:

Us old guys thought it was hilarious, to hear about “Gold Polka Dots on White” and the like.  In our experience, if one, isolated person was flagging an unusual color, they’d have had to spend the whole night having to explain what their colors meant, dozens of times, and not getting any nibbles. Seemed kinda pointless.

The actual fact is, what we did was new, and PRIMITIVE, back then.  We were making it up as we went along. We had NO experience, or fetishes for:

- Furries
- Puppies
- Latex
- Urethral Sounds

and a lot more fetishes that have become exciting and widespread in the Internet years.