Why am I a “Daddy”?

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dirtydaddythings:

1: Truth.

The biggest difference, aside from the way we play, between a ‘vanilla’ romance and one that is between a Daddy and a boy is Truth. You can be honest, forthcoming and truthful with a partner in a vanilla relationship but it is different between my boy and I. There are no filters, no need to carefully phrase or edit our thoughts. He doesn’t have to pretend to be anyone around me, I know he’s my boy and he knows without question that I am HIS Daddy. There is a depth of honesty within ourselves that leads to the Truth being a cornerstone of the life we’ve built together. I am my truest self with him, from cuddly Daddy bear to rough Dom Daddy; I can change, be different from moment to moment, and he will always know where he stands with me. He has that same freedom: to grow, to change as he needs and to be himself in whatever form that takes.

2: Honesty.

It can be easy to forget just how much fun it is to be ‘kinky’ when there aren’t rules beyond what feels good to enjoy together. There’s a smile when he asks for what he wants to happen, almost shy, more than a little sexy and definitely impish: it says this is naughty and i love it. That honesty, about sexual desire and how you want to play it out, is a real joy. No need to hide things away, just share them and let them out into the open. “Spank me Daddy” doesn’t get me hard because I like spanking him. It turns me on to feel his body come alive when he’s being ‘naughty’, horny and happy. 

3: Freedom.

I don’t need to control him. The need for power isn’t something I feel nor would seek to satisfy if i did. My pleasure isn’t rooted in a need to control or dominate another person. I use those things as tools, toys in my chest of secrets, to unlock pleasure in my boy and he loves it when I am that way with him. My own arousal comes from feeling him break inside, the incredible release of his true self being able to come out into a safe place and to be happy without fear. It is his freedom to be himself, in an unconditional way, that is part of what makes a Dad/son different from being “lovers”.

4: Belonging

For a boy it’s different when its your boyfriend or partner or lover. When it’s your Daddy there is an entirely different feeling. He could be yours 24/7/365 or just for a few hours on the weekend, but that doesn’t change this feeling you get that he’s always been there and always will. For me it’s the same idea. There is a sense of continuation, of what I am being part of him. His place in my life is like my left hand: I’d be lost without it. He knows that what I love about him doesn’t age, gain weight or diminish with time. I love the ultra-boy within him, the one I’ve seen him grow to become. In return he loves the Daddy that calls him ‘His’. Call it ownership, possession or any other word you want, but it comes down to the solid fit when two pieces lock together making a whole. That is the belonging that a Daddy and his boy feel together.

#5: Power

I don’t mean the cheap thrill of throwing someone around that a bully gets. I mean the real power a True Master, Dominant and Daddy wield: change. The day to day life of studies, work or just dealing with people, can grind you down and make you feel less than you should but I can bring that to an end with just a few simple words. It doesn’t happen immediately but slowly over time my words become a power to rip that world apart. I can make it all go away and stay away for as long as you are in my arms or presence. They become nothing more than shadows trying to push into the spotlight I shine on my boy. Being able to banish those things, to allow my son to emerge and be himself, is the power that I wield. A lover can make you forget but Daddy drives them away as easily as the monster under the bed.

#6 Being his Beast.

The same thing that guides, nurtures and frees him also protects him. To him I am a juggernaut, a force of nature and an unholy terror to anything that would threaten to harm him. I’m the thing that steps out of their nightmares and reduces them to a simpering child crying for mommy. He knows that I would never raise my hand in anger; my weapon of choice can’t be blocked by armor of any kind because I exercise my vital powers as a Daddy. Being the monster that loves him, picks him up and carries him to bed to hold him until he sleeps, is part of what being Daddy is for a boy. I don’t ever have to do anything like that. I may never have to leap into action, but he knows in his heart that Daddy would do anything to keep him safe. He’s right on all three counts. I would do anything to protect him, I am his beast, and I do belong to him just as he belongs to me and that I don’t let people hurt what’s mine. 

 

#7 Daddy is home.

None of this is bound to a bedroom, dungeon or playroom. When he is with me, no matter where it is, he is home. Everything I am in our house, I am for him when we are together out in the world. I can kiss it and make it better or scare the monsters away with my roar. He’s safe, he’s happy, he’s himself. It could be in the gutter surrounded by cardboard or in a mansion on a hill; the only thing that matters is that he is there with me. He can walk beside me, stand behind me, or lead me to where he wants to go. When Daddy is with him wherever he wants to be is safe and he feels secure there.

In no other context in my life have these been true the way they are between Daddy and his boy. It’s almost like becoming the archetypes, the purest expression of the very idea of what Daddy and son are. He’s my successor, my legacy and my joy. I’m his guardian, his teddy bear and the gardener that helps him grow. I am Daddy and he is my boy. At the end of the Day that is all that matters.

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Papa Tony:

I can’t help but notice that everything here is what we WISH for from our own genetic fathers, but rarely get. In my own case, my father was not any of those things, and never wanted to be.

Male Grief

This concept has been around for decades - Among other things, it encompasses men’s sadness that they never got what they needed from their own fathers.

Decades ago, the advice columnist Ann Landers commented on Father’s Day by blessing the Stepfathers. These men provided positive male role-modeling and support, even though the kids were not genetically related to them.

This goes double for the gay-male Daddies. A Daddy with the philosophies mentioned above is a positive force for good in the world.