Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!
Social media has made it easy to find people that share interests, but how do you recommend that I avoid the trap of fantasy that can happen when chatting on social media, vs the reality of different scenes.
Short Answer
Run and find out! After a while, you’ll KNOW.
Life Is Risk
There are no guarantees in our lives. Nobody can perfectly predict outcomes. Life can be random. If we wait by the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment before stepping into the game, then we rob ourselves of the time that we wasted, while doing nothing in particular
In order to become stronger, wiser and better, we have to skin our knees periodically. We have to accept the fact that there can be “bad” outcomes if we take a chance. In my own case, I like to joke that I throw myself off of cliffs on a regular basis. I do so, even when I might potentially fall onto broken rocks and get bruised.
There are no guarantees in our lives. Nobody can perfectly predict outcomes. Life can be random. If we wait by the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment before stepping into the game, then we rob ourselves of the time that we wasted, while doing nothing in particular
In order to become stronger, wiser and better, we have to skin our knees periodically. We have to accept the fact that there can be “bad” outcomes if we take a chance. In my own case, I like to joke that I throw myself off of cliffs on a regular basis. I do so, even when I might potentially fall onto broken rocks and get bruised.
Or, I Might Fly With The Eagles
I’ve lived a rich and rewarding life. I can’t begin to list the ways that my life has become a paradise. I did that. I created my own destiny, day after day, risk after risk.
A LOT of stuff happened along the way, bad and good. I would never have chosen some of it, but those experiences have ALSO made me into the man that I am.
First, Study Safety Tips
I love to find articles that explain better than I could on the topic of kinky safety. This is a very good one.
Be Careful, And ALSO Courageous
Ask yourself a question: When was the last time that you took a chance, and then crashed and burned? Be honest and really think about that. If you struggle to answer that question, maybe you have been unconsciously depending upon your gut-level responses.
If this is so, be glad. You have a powerful tool to guide you in your decisions. If a situation doesn’t feel right, step away and go in a different direction that feels better.
Face To Face Is Always Better.
Use your intuition to guide you, and don’t be afraid to say "No, thank you.” You always have that right. There are a zillion articles out there, warning folks to have coffee together to size each other up, rather than diving deep into a potentially hazardous kinky scene with a stranger. This is wise advice.
The key is to provide yourself with maximum bandwidth. Conversation using only plain text is only one percent of what you need. In a coffee shop, across the table, you can also be perceiving muscle tension, body language, breathing patterns and pupil dilation. You won’t be conscious of those things, but they will add to the overall first impression.
Practice using phrases such as “Thanks for the coffee. I don’t think that we are a match. I wish you the best.” If your intuition doesn’t feel right, listen to it.
Gather Information, And Then Act
Sooner or later, you’ve gotten enough information through various means. Then, it behooves you to take some chances. If you want to have a happier, more fulfilled and satisfying life, you have to have goals, and then you have to do the work to make them happen.
You’re gonna fuck up periodically. Learn from it, dust your self off, and get back into the game. That’s how life works.
No comments:
Post a Comment