The Secret About Domination/submission is...

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dontcallmemistress:

mscogsworthy:

There is no secret. Friends. Really. There’s not. There’s no secret to making kinky partnerships work or to communicating with a partner or any other aspect of being two people in a consenting arrangement.

At least, there’s no secret that you don’t already know.

D/s is a relationship. That’s it. It’s a relationship, just like dating, just like living together, just like marriage. And the secret to managing relationships?

99% of the time, the key to managing a relationship is communication. TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. Tell your partner what you want, what you don’t want, what feels good and for God’s sake what doesn’t feel good.

I browse a lot of the BDSM advice blogs & groups, and I swear to God, almost every question could be answered with TALK TO YOUR PARTNER.

(The other 1% can be answered with LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS, but that’s another post entirely.)

There is very little in any healthy D/s relationship that can’t be handled with the application of a little patience and a lot of communication. And seriously, if you’re finding that the communication isn’t working, there are counselors and therapists out there who specialize in “non-traditional” relationships. Therapy is probably one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself, and as a tool for the maintenance of self and relationships, there’s not much else I’d recommend more highly.

So yeah. That’s it. There’s the Big Secret everyone always wants to know.




Papa Tony:

Quoting myself:

There are TWO things, and two things ONLY, that cause long-term relationships to stay together forever. Kindness and Generosity. Science has proven this beyond all doubt. Yes, you can have that, AND wildly kinky fun. One does not preclude the other.