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Papa Tony:
There is a huge market for stern disciplinarians. My wish is that they all get exactly what they are seeking. I’m just not that guy.
When I express a desire, my subs SNAP into position, and make it so. When I say “Excellent work, slave. I am satisfied”, I know that they would turn heaven and earth upside down for further praise and validation.
They wag their pretty tails. A LOT.
The key is authenticity. I would never, ever disrespect a sub by bullshitting him. I don’t blow smoke up his kilt. If something is valuable, praiseworthy and satisfying, I have a goal of never letting that moment pass unremarked.
If something that I need to say is
• True,
• Necessary, and
• Kind,
I say something about it, RIGHT NOW. I don’t let it pass unremarked.
A lot of that philosophy has roots in my own past traumas. I have been to too many AIDS funerals (two or three a week, for years) where I was feeling horrid because I had never TOLD that man how important he was in my life.
I made up my mind a long time ago to be as transparent as water… To share my own blessings, and to never hold back when it comes time to bless others. I am sure that some people were creeped-out by such unusual behavior. I accept that.
However, the vast majority of folks are starved for somebody who can give them permission to be just as positive and life-affirming. This work just as well in kinky relationships, with strangers on the street, and in every other kind of interpersonal dynamic.
Sure - there are folks who won’t buy what you’re selling. That’s fine. The goal is not to please EVERYONE. That way lies madness. Just be clear with who you are, and make a choice to be the best human being that you can be.
That way lies popularity.
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