Monday, September 10, 2018

Opinions

 Sharing some ideas that might work well for others.

These are articles that I consider to be of value, based upon the responses that I have received.

You can find the Master Index for every category here.

This page is only one of many categories.  There are HUNDREDS of articles, and each list continues to grow longer and longer.

I hope that you find these articles to be of value in your life.



I Am A Sir With No Need for Force, Discipline, or Abuse - a VERY popular article

Good Boy - A VERY POPULAR poem.

Rights for Dominants - The dom is in control. And yet – doms are just humans too. Having bad days, and needs, and problems. And sometimes this gets lost in the idea that Doms always have to be strong and always in control.

Wheat, Chaff and Reality - The internet has opened up what was a very structured and tight-knit community to the curious. The majority don’t respect or know about the traditions of the BDSM community…

Protecting Real Submissives - I’m the caring loving pleaser and I’ll do anything for my dominant partner. But that can go wrong on so many levels for so many reasons. We are so vulnerable to real abuse that can be life-changing.

How I Serve - 8 months ago, I was able to embrace my submissive side and say “this is who I am”. Since then I journey, I observe, I struggle and yet I go deeper into understanding. What follows are my meandering thoughts and opinions.

Why A Beating Can’t Be Beaten - Yes, it can simply be about the Dom's pleasure, the truly sadistic Dom will love to hear the screams, feel the power from the suffering He is inflicting… But there are many other reasons to beat the slave…

Finding Your Strength As A Sub - You’re a submissive. Passive. Someone who wants to be taken advantage of. No backbone. No strength. You are big but you are weak willed.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

The Experiment, Gone Wrong - This taught me that BDSM is a game, in real life and online, but also not a game. You can get hurt. Physically and emotionally, as well as experience intensities of surrender and bliss that i hitherto had not felt.

Taking Care of Your Boy - If you wish to be a Sir you must accept the responsibility to take care of your boy, physically and emotionally.

How to Have Your Very Own BDSM World… and NEVER, Ever, Grow as a True Master! - Believe that you’re perfect and above everyone; You don’t have to change yourself. You’re superior to any bottom piece of shit.

What Do You Consider To Be Basic Submissive Duties? - Know yourself. You have limitations. Don’t ignore them. There is no prize for pushing yourself too far for the sake of a Dom (mes) pleasure. It makes you untrustworthy and dangerous.

The Profound Effect Of Total Isolation - i wrote that Master put me in isolation for several days over the new year and that the effects on me were profound. It has taken me a few days to be able to put down in writing my thoughts about this experience.

It’s not your fault. - Society sets up expectations of subs being treated poorly because as a sexual minority we are already used to this from other people, and that makes us very easy targets for people like this.

So, You Want To Be a Master - Every Dom has an obligation to know his craft: knives cut and so can words, so know your intent before picking up any tool.

The Language Of Submission - Love is the foundation of Master and slave; and the language of love that a submissive speaks, how they express their submission is very important. Giving your Master what he desires is very important.

My Submission is Earned - I am mine, not yours. If you want me to be yours, show me you’re worth it.

How fear drives a slave’s existence - For a slave, the past is never prologue. i understand that i must earn anew, each day, the privilege of serving Him. i can (and should) take nothing for granted.

Pigeon Hole: "A Neat Category Which Usually Fails To Reflect Actual Complexities" - It’s fine and good if that fits the reality inside the head of the Master but it’s not so good if the Master happens to enjoy being the bottom?

Life for a 24/7 Slave, In Detail - Yes, I am fully, totally, completely owned, 24/7/365. That doesn’t mean I’m locked in a cage when I’m not directly serving my Owner, although we do live together. It just means He has complete control…

Submitting to a Master vs. Being “Treated Like Shit” - Before slave was a slave, it imagined serving a Master to be very different than it ended up being. it had always imagined being treated like shit.

You Are Not A Dom. You Are A Jackass With A Whip. - U need to stop calling urself a dom. All this lovey crap makes real doms sick. A sub is not for respecting and loving. A sub is for using and thats what they like.

Why true SM enriches the slave in its life -  It’s like hot spicy food that’s not for everybody, and it’s so extreme in most common eyes - isn’t it also a cool thing that not everyone can understand? You’ll be unique in a world that does not quite get it.

A Considerate, Courteous And Courtly Sadist - Despite your sadism, you come across as a considerate, courteous and even courtly individual. I'm not sure I'd be able to reconcile those aspects in me if I had them. How does one do that?

Connected, Balanced and Growing. He is Master, I am slave. - The power of a Master slave dynamic is the clarity it brings. I came to you because I sensed that your Dominant side would help me understand and own my submissive nature.

BDSM: Isn’t That A Sex Thing?

it’s also a personal expression thing
it’s also a communication thing
it’s also an acceptable thing.

Why I Am A Fan Of Pain - I am a sadist. I am a person who enjoys inflicting pain on his submissives. I have however, also come to learn that I exclusively enjoy inflicting pain on men who enjoy having pain inflicted on them.

Is the 100% sub slave just online fantasy? - Almost certainly. It’s a great big world out there, maybe there’s a handful of submissives who can manage 100% non-stop submission. That sounds exhausting.

Why true SM enriches the slave in its life - BDSM is such a special thing and the skills and experiences required is like those for an acrobat…

Domspace, Compared To Subspace - I wanted to share the endorphin high with him, the experience of subspace, and the sense of vulnerability and trust. He wanted to be let go and be hurt, to be pushed further than he wanted to go himself.

Equal Time - One of the things that porn never shows us is the amount of work and communication that Masters and slaves need to put in to make their relationship work. Good communication is critical to successful power exchange…

You Aren’t Worthless, And Your Safety Should Be A Priority - remember submission is your choice.  surrendering your desires is your choice.  choosing to give up control or give up your rights is the choice you get to make.

Connection Comes In Many Forms - The feel of your hand, the mark of your belt, the taste of your sweat, your cock in my mouth, the sting of the cane, the message you sent, waiting on my knees by the door, the sound you make when you cum…

Adapting To The Scene As An Amputee - When I had to interact with people that I had once considered my community I was uncomfortable and unsure of myself. That was a really uncomfortable feeling.

"Shitty Subs" - All we ever hear about are shitty Doms, fake Doms, predatory Doms. Not a peep about shitty subs. We both know Doms who have been fucked up bad because they got involved with one, but no one ever talks about it.

Collaring… All Types - A collar is the most powerful symbol of ownership and commitment in the BDSM community. A collar should be earned, not given lightly.

Flagging Lavender, and Old Guard - Hanky code: Lavender. Does anyone know what it really mean?  Does it really exist within the Old Guard community?

A Boy That Knows The Power Of Surrender, And Has Given Himself Over To It Completely. - I know what that feels like. I’ve gone to that place. And it’s changed me. I’m not the same person I was when I started this journey a year ago.

Cultivating Bravery - Dominant or submissive, it takes a lot of bravery to be who you are. As a submissive it takes a lot of bravery to leave your body in the care of another man.  As a dominant, it takes a lot of bravery to embrace exactly who you are…

Identity: Faggot, Omega, Boy - When it comes to identity, recognize that BDSM has an unbelievable spectrum of people within it, and identity is often more complicated than a single title. Some identities are more pronounced than others.

Nourishment For The Isolated Gay Men’s Kinky Souls - Listening in on Men's Discussion audio recordings.  Hugely popular, worldwide.

What is “training”? - I get a lot of messages from guys asking me to train them. Based on their requests, I feel that there’s some confusion about what training is and what it does for a boy. So I’m going to briefly discuss what training is and is not.

The Element Of Trust - Is a true Dom one who can use his/her power of persuasion to convince the sub to actually beg for and accept conditions they might otherwise reject?

Points to Ponder, Pre-Collaring - The negotiation process is a two way street and a strong power exchange relationship begins with a two-way dialog. Listed here are some points for a prospective slave to consider when negotiating with an inexperienced Master...

Better Adult, Better Dom - How to gain some attractive charisma

As Dominant Gay Males, We Are Supposed To Know What We Are Doing - But what if we don't?

Online Porn Doms Terrify Me - The idea that because they identify as a dominant-type, or at least they think they do, means that every submissive-type will fall to their knees in worship is ridiculous!

The Path Toward Wisdom - If I have a definition of power exchange, it would be two people – one a yin and the other a yang; one naturally dominant and the other naturally submissive. Both are strong in their own way…

Kinky Superpower - If you could choose any kinky super power what would it be? If can be a super power that exists in comics already but for a kinky purpose or it can be something you make up entirely.

Red Flags Need Context - I’ve spoken to a few people who call themselves Doms. Red flags everywhere, of course, but what does one do with a red flag?

Mind Control and Submission - “In X-men Professor X has the telepathic power to control people’s minds and make them do what he wants. If a submissive had that power, and made a man dominate him… is he really being dominated?”

A Good Necessary Structure for a Submissive to be Trainedower Exchange centers on trust, a trust that comes from knowing that the dominant, empowered, partner will use his power wisely, and ultimately to mutual benefit.

Things are Changing for the Better.  I Promise. - Little by little, power exchange relationships have come out of the closet in select parts of the country. Sirs and subs are revealing that they are in M/s relationships.

True Master, True slave - A slave should know his place, and know what he is worth…

Finding Permanent Pride In Who We Are - Getting past negative programming

The Element Of Trust - Is a true Dom one who can use his/her power of persuasion to convince the sub to actually beg for and accept conditions they might otherwise reject?

The Kinsey Conundrum - How can folks actually be bisexual?

The New Puritans - Getting past other people's judgments

Body-Shaming Yourself - It does nobody any good

Age And Youth - The blessings in an age difference.

Increasing The Odds For Our Submissive Brothers - Why I help Doms, in order to help subs!

Non-Verbal Communication, Via What We Wear - How to signal what you want

Just A Friendly Reminder… - I know there’s a lot of really heavy and intense things on Tumblr that reflect a fantasy world of BDSM. There’s a lot of people out there that will tell you that you have to obey without question…

- Trying to see other people's perspectives

My Best Life Lesson - Being openly affectionate and respectful does not make you look weak.  In fact, it builds up an enormous amount of wind beneath your wings.  

A Brutally Frank Message to My Fellow Older Gay Leathermen - In praise of handing everything away to our younger leaders

Younger Doms are Valid, Too - We are all on the same path

This is Why You Shouldn't Kink-Shame - That Which You Resist, Persists.

Bottom-Shaming Hurts Everybody - It even harms the Sirs that might perpetuate it, without being conscious of the damaging 'internal-loathing' effect

High Protocol Relationships - Not sure where fact or fiction ends, here

Approval-Based Doms - Don't believe the porn hype.  I am “approval-based.” I am a very, very kinky Sir. And, I can’t imagine why I would need to use punishment, discipline or disapproval.

The Joys of Being a Pimp Daddy For A Slutty Sub - Slutty subs have needs, too!

The Value of Switches - Life is not just two boxes, marked 'black" and 'white.'

Boring, Bored, and Border Collies - I strive to be a respectful, obedient, pleasing submissive but I get a little bored.

Why the Kink Community Hates 'Fifty Shades of Gray' - I'm pretty new to the BDSM stuff, and was curious why everyone says 50 Shades was so bad. I hope that's not a stupid question…

There's Nothing Wrong With Admitting That You Were Once Toxic - A lesson in humility.  “I’m a good person. I do good things”, “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone”, “It’ll be okay if I only do it this once”…

You Aren’t Worthless And Your Safety Should Be A Priority - something i see frequently is someone who identifies as faggot / sub / beta calling themselves stupid or worthless…

Real Life Is Not A Porn Video. Adjust Your Expectations Accordingly - Life is NOT like what you see on the screen

Dear Submissives - You're not going to spend your life in a basement serving somebody. It's a fucking fantasy. Can you please for for the love of god stop paying attention to that bullshit online that tells you that you’re supposed to be a worthless object?

Why I Am A Fan Of Pain - A great primer on the fun of pain play

How To Apologize - A grownup man lets go of his ego and admits guilt. Yes, even kinky folks need to know this.  Play-scenes don't always turn out right.

Why Am I A 'Daddy'? - I didn't write it, but it really resonates with people.

Make or Break - 'Reprogramming' the submissive with healthy, life-affirming memes

'Flexibility' Versus 'Rigidity' - Two extreme interpretations of what kink really is

If We Wait For The Perfect Submissive, We Will Wait Forever - What if the things that make you inappropriate, broken and JUST PLAIN FUCKED UP are actually your superpowers, and always were?

Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Poor Dominants? - Being burdened with the expectations of others.  As a submissive type (or s-type) in the nomenclature of this subculture, and as a (wannabe) slave, I’ve talked to a lot of Dominants, often for months, and have met with a few in real life.

Differences between a Sir/boy relationship and a Master/slave relationship - To me, it's all about service

The Glass Orb - Everyone has a certain amount of control in/over their own lives.  Imagine your control as a Glass Orb. A ball of thin glass, a smooth sphere, crystalline, shining with reflected light.

What It Means When I Swat Your Ass - You’re mine. Behave. I love you. Look, everyone, this belongs to me. Later, I’m going to do this much harder.

The Need To Submit - Once i was able to embrace my submissiveness, enjoy it, value it, whether it was the dark twisted non-consensual fantasies or the intimacy and dedication of real servitude/TPE, then i found peace and contentment.

I’m No Masochist. I’ve Never Been A Pain Slut. - I cry when I stub my toe and go to great lengths to avoid anything with even the slightest possibility of pain…. and yet….

Subs Are Not Some Objects An Alpha (Ab)uses And Tosses Away. - Subs are human beings with whom you reach happiness together. They are (your) subs, because they wanted to submit to you, they desire your domination.

Self Respect And The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Damn - Too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too scrawny, too muscular, too femme, too masculine, too enthusiastic, too emotional…..

Demanding Self-Proclaimers - Know your worth boys, don’t go for guys like this. And other Sirs? I’m watching. You can and should do better than this. Our power as Sirs comes in enticing a submissive to submit. Anything else is illegal.

What Is Slavery, And What Is It Not…  - slavery is NOT about suffering… slavery is about service.  slavery is NOT about humiliation… slavery is about humility.

Fantasy vs. Reality - I love your blog but I especially advocate treating your subs right. A lot of D/s blogs on tumblr are too heavy on the fantasy and its sad to see people think that's how it should be.

The Leash Is Symbolic - But the real power is in the boy’s authentic submission, not by force, but given freely.

There is No Shame in Using a Safeword - I typically don’t need safe words with my boys as I’m very good at reading their contractions from things and adjusting. I check in a lot as well. But I usually have one established just in case.

What Do You Consider To Be Basic Submissive Duties? - 1. Support them. No, I don’t mean financially OR physically. I mean emotionally and spiritually. Encourage them, and praise them. Have their back...

Being a Submissive Has Never Been About Being Powerless - D/s relationships are, at their most fundamental level, about the exchange of power; the passing of power from a submissive party to a Dominant party.

Distance and Closeness - Closeness is also very important and is represented by presence of the Master and occasional benefits, such as touch, pats and easy to hug. A loving togetherness is not a contradiction to a master-slave relationship.

Understanding the Controlling Power of Master/slave intimacy - Over time, a committed Master/slave relationship, develops an intimacy whereby each partner can intuit the other’s needs, thoughts, desires and moods at any given moment.

Alphas Are Not Assholes - I’ve been talking to a boy that was very surprised that “I’m so nice to strangers on the internet even though I’m an Alpha”. I just showed him basic decency and talked to him.

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