Monday, December 24, 2018

Why I Am A Fan Of Pain

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By Sir Alex:

I am a sadist. I am a person who enjoys inflicting pain on his submissives. I have however, also come to learn that I exclusively enjoy inflicting pain on men who enjoy having pain inflicted on them.

The very first sub i ever had that enjoyed pain would writhe and yelp and grind his ass into my sheets. He taught me a bit about fine control, how to hit, where to hit.

One of the most important pieces i ever read about pain related pain to wine. When you first drink wine it has a rather bitter taste up front and it lasts for a little while after you first drink it. Then you experience the after taste. A very different experience from the initial taste you experienced.

It’s true. I could simply reach out and whack you with my crop and it would hurt, but that’s not what a session is really like or about. My intent when i wield such a device is to find “almost ouch”. The point where it hurts a bit, but not so much that you want me to stop. When i find that spot and dance along the edge, one hit a little softer, another a little harder than that, i’m doing it slowly and building up. The intent behind doing it is to start an endorphin flow. You can trick your body into thinking that the pain is a sign that you’re in mortal danger. It will release endorphins to give you a rush so you can move faster and think clearer to escape whatever danger you might be in. It feels good and the endorphins further increase your pain tolerance. It’s a similar high to what surfers, parachuters, and other “extreme” sports enthusiasts experience.

Once you get that nice little rush going, you’ll find that the impacts my cane rains down upon you feel different. Like a little static jolt of pleasure. They will end up hurting if i hit you VERY hard but most are surprised at the amount the enjoy the sensation.

If you aren’t certain you’d hate pain play, i’d encourage you to give it a try. If you read some of my earlier entries, i mentioned sub drop. In case you didn’t it’s worth a quick repeat. Sub drop is the drop in endorphin levels after more intense play like pain play. It is something you need to be aware of before it happens. Some people want to be held afterwards and reassured. Others just really want to get out of there and be alone. It can feel an awful lot like depression since you will have had a sudden endorphin drop, but it will pass and you will be ok.

So, why am I a fan of pain? I’m a fan of pain because something that so many others dismiss as unpleasant can be embraced and allowed to become something incredibly intimate and beautiful. I craft, mold, and embrace the sensations from pain into a rush of endorphins. Being the person directly responsible for it, that mastery over the body. That’s why I’m a fan of pain. Another almost taboo layer of control to express.

Have a question or need a friendly ear? 

Ask me anything about BDSM at BDSMadviceAlex AT gmail DOT com

And please, repost my answer if you liked it so others who need to hear this can find it.


Papa Tony:

That was a great primer on the fun of pain play.

It’s delightful with the men that want it, and who feel bad when they DON’T get it. In my experience of doing kinky scenes with thousands of men since 1977, I find that men who can immediately transform pain into pleasure are rare, but are precious indeed.



This video was captured at Mister S Leather during Folsom Street Fair weekend in 2104. This was the bottom’s front (magnificent tattoo), and this was his back, when I was finished with him.

I designed the toy that I am using. It is called the Tommy Tomcat. I don’t get any money for it, and I don’t want to. It is the perfect toy to break out for the submissive who wears out every Dom at the play party, saying “Is that all ya got?” That’s sub-talk for “I am bored with THUD, and I can handle the STING stuff now. Take me there, Sir!”

I’m not against teaching an eager sub how to get to that point of craving pain as part of play. He has to prove that he is ready for the next step, and then the next. He has to be willing to let me stretch the envelope a bit more, each time that we play.

The reward is a proud submissive man who wears his marks as a badge of honor. Nobody can say that he is a wannabe, a fake or a poseur. He is the Real Fucking Deal.

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