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"Placid":
even-tempered, calm, tranquil, equable, unexcitable, serene, mild, 'calm, cool, and collected', composed, self-possessed, poised, easygoing, levelheaded, steady, unruffled, unperturbed, phlegmatic, unflappable.See also: Feeling Fuckin' MELLOW.
After posting my recent, ultra-deep article, I have been worried that folks are under the impression that I'm still dragging around a big old sack o' sadness.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm glad to share the great news.
I have fully achieved catharsis, and it kicks ASS.
After writing the article (nearly three weeks ago), I read my own words, and cried. After a while, I read the article again, and cried some more. Cleansing, restorative, blessed release of old, old pains that have been burdening me. After 36 hours of repeating this process, I found that I was done. I felt clear and complete. I simply didn't have any more old baggage cluttering up my life any more.
Since then, I have slept like 2.7 babies (really cute ones), every single night. :->
I don't get frustrated like I used to. Nothing tends to throw me for a loop. I WANT to tell my friends that I have not yet achieved Nirvana (doesn't that take years of intensive training?), but I'm sure the hell feeling like I've matched up perfectly with Wikipedia's definition of the word.
This is awesome. I wish everybody in the world could feel this way. Peaceful, relaxed and accepting. This is the best that I ever felt in my entire life, and it NEVER STOPS.
So, I say to my brothers who have suffered under the burden of loss to AIDS in your lives:
It's time to deal with the pain, face up to it, and let it go, in whatever way that works best for you. In my own case, I sought out a Cognitive Therapist. I didn't fight it, because I was R-E-A-D-Y.
The payoff is bliss. We deserve plenty of that, in what remains in our lives.
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