This article is part of my Mentoring for Tops/Sirs/Doms/Masters curriculum.
I recently realized that I have never done an instructional video where I specifically avoid using any form of toys or props (with one glorious exception, in today's video).
This is a small part of an actual scene, captured at a local leather bar. The style of play is subtle to watch on video, but INTENSE to experience, up close. I am using pressure-points (a lot), tickling, licking, breathing upon wet flesh, spanking, nibbling, gentle touch, FIRM touch, upper-body strength, safe body-punching, ice-water (can never get enough of that) and scratching.
Play By Play Explanation00:00 - Foreplay, using fingertips. Notice that I am NOT being sexually aggressive. Going at the butthole and the genitals right away, is what beginners do. This is not a porn film. Masterful players are subtle and seductive, working their way up to supreme pleasure.
00:30 - Applying upper-body strength to restrain, while warming up the ass and thighs. This conveys a sense of being "taken over" by a Dominant.
00:40 - Changing the tempo, and varying the stimulation, however briefly. NEVER just go bang-bang-bang continuously, as if beating a drum. The goal is to cause arcing and sparking in the sub's brain circuitry.
01:35 - Using my beard and stubble to vary the stimulation, and then BITING. Most of this action involves nearly biting (scraping the teeth along the skin), rather than actually chomping down. When any biting occurs, it is in the form of a nip, using the just the edges of two teeth, one on the upper jaw, and one on the lower. When you nip, do it hard enough to evoke a noticeable response, and then back off. Doing this rarely, and then nearly biting some more, creates a natural, anticipatory tension in the sub's mind: "Oh lordy - is it going to happen again?" When nipping, move around. Don't just concentrate upon one spot.
02:00 - After licking and biting, blowing upon the wet area, to rapidly cause a cooling sensation.
02:10 - Starting again with the biting, but adding more forceful gripping, and growling, in as authentically lustful of a way as possible. This causes the sub's subconscious brain to panic a bit. This causes the Fight or Flight Response to kick in, and the endorphins will start pumping like water from a faucet.
My favorite pressure points for kinky play.
There are MANY others, but not as useful for play.
02:20 - Pressure points. The obvious ones to start with are the sides of the torso. Many folks are ticklish. Many folks also can stifle the ticklish response, which can fool many Sirs. Don't assume that they aren't ticklish, when they are being stoic. You just haven't broken down their barriers yet. Trust will cause that to happen.
02:30 - Pressure points, again. Armpit, followed by...
02:40 - Inner thigh. This is truly worth finding. Center of the inner thigh, just under the genitals. There are tendons that join up there, and when your firm fingers dig in between them, it causes a wonderful response.
03:00 - Warning the sub that things are about to go up a notch, and obtaining verbal assent. Then, following through. Intent, followed by action. This establishes credibility.
03:20 - This is not a hairy sub. However, tugging (and maybe even yanking) a few hairs where you can find them, is highly stimulating.
03:45 - Dousing with ice water. I find it hard to resist doing this in bar demos. Total shock to the system, particularly if there is no warning. That is why I was gesticulating, rather than using words that would warn the sub what was coming up. That is a large container of bubbly water with lime juice. I NEVER do kinky play when using alcohol, or any other substance that could impair my judgment. This would be unethical. In the last forty years, I have seen too many scenes that have gone wrong (sometimes horribly wrong), when either or both players are not fully present.
03:55 - Spreading the wetness around. Later, I like to fan the wet area with a flogger, but that is outside the topic of Playing Without Toys.
04:25 - Again, firm grasp, with biting.
05:10 - Slapping, then punching. You will notice that I am ONLY doing this to the larger muscles which can handle it, not to areas where the bones are close to the surface.
05:45 - My personal goal for ass-spanking is to strike at the area of the ass above the butthole. Everything else is just warmup. This area can be spanked very hard, AFTER a nice, long amount of warmup. This reminds the sub of what happened, as they drive home. Normally, I work both sides of the ass equally. In this case, since I am performing for the camera, I can't do as even of a job, without blocking the camera view.
After the Video Ends
There was much more to the scene, involving Florentine and regular-style flogging, and MUCH aftercare, cuddling and talking. I omitted this because my play-partner was wary of having his face on video, and I respect that.
My Playmate's Reaction
Activity such as this is extremely emotive. I tend to immerse myself in the moment. Thoughts of past or future only interfere with my understanding of the now. Afterward, the experience in its specifics fade but I retain the overall emotion. When I speak in generalities it's often because the correct words cannot precisely express my intent.
Often, moments after an encounter, the lingering sensations and accompanying emotion will obliterate any distinguishable vocabulary leaving me with 'that was fun'. In this case I was alight and reeling from sensations. Sensations pleasurable, painful, and others that fall somewhere in between.
Papa Tony brought me through moments of endurance and through some sensory loudness. The ice water, a pleasurable surprise. The tickles that create an interior tempest rather than an external impact. The fur tugging, a welcomed spirit of humor. The bites that are high, bright, loud punctuation. That night Papa Tony had exposed, controlled, and brought to the surface my innate nature.
Watching the video is interesting. I can now visually equate actions with what, before viewing the video, I only had sensory memories. Memories from my skin, muscle and bone. The visual overview, in my opinion, does not compare to the physical stimulation I was feeling in that moment. At times the video shows activity that seems so small, so slight that one can almost overlook it but from the sensation point of view, it was a huge moment. I'm a very visual person, but often times a touch is worth a thousand pictures.