Thursday, September 18, 2014

Folsom Tips For Newbies: Audio, Links and Advice

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!



This is an updated version of an earlier article.  Basically, I added some audio, and updated all of the links.


Papa Tony:
The Folsom Street Fair is coming up pretty quickly (Sunday, September 30, 2018). If you haven't yet made travel-plans, now would be a really good time to get that handled. Here is my previous post about tracking down lodging.


Every year, there are first-timers who might accidentally miss out by just showing up, without being on the right party lists, and not knowing where to go. So, I'm using this space to gather together everybody's suggestions and shared wisdom based on experience.


• Start by reading this article from Leatherati, posted in 2011.  It contains a lot of great wisdom, particularly on the best way to find private parties.


• If you're interested in a non-sexual kinky gay men's play-party like no other, I can certainly recommend the 15 Association's Folsom Weekend play party will be on Saturday evening, September 29th, 2018, from 6pm to Midnight. Be SURE to fill out the application beforehand, for an invitation to this event, if you aren't already friends with a man who is already on the list.  IF YOU ARE NOT ON THE LIST, YOU WILL NOT GET IN!



As I say in the 24-minute audio, the following is advice from an older, kinky and dominant gay-male, who has zero interest in big, hot parties.  If those are your interest, there is NO lack of fun for your tastes.

My audio recording talks about the PRACTICAL stuff, such as packing some bandage wrap.  Why?  There is a LOT of walking (San Francisco blocks are very long), and even the best-fitting boots can wear holes in your feet.

Lost Treasures

I am sad to say, I have had to delete a LOT of great recommendations from the previous versions of this article. Places like Stompers Boots, Worn Out West, Butler Uniform, Bear Magazine headquarters, Madame S and so many other long-time kinky destinations were driven out of business by sky-high rental costs, thanks to Silicon Valley millionaires driving up the value of the land.


I used to gather together at least twenty first timers together and give them a guided tour of San Franciscos Leather District.  We'd start at one end, and work our way over, street by street.  We NEVER made it to our final destination, though.  We'd be walking toward the last place on the list, and we would walk right by the Factory Outlet Lamps and Fixtures store display window.  These butch leathermen would squeal "Oh, my god!  Did you see those cunning little SCONCES?"


So, they'd head inside, and that would be the end of the tour.

Ah, well.  At least I have happy memories.  I've been going to Folsom Street Fair for 34 years.  A lot has changed, but in the case of the Fair itself, it's just gotten HUGE!


In my own case, I like to arrive EARLY for the Street Fair on Sunday, and then leave around 3:30, because it's just SO CROWDED.  As in, if somebody following closely around me gets separated, it can take them ten minutes to catch up to me.  From twenty feet away.  Bring sunscreen, drink lots of water, and carry a backpack if you plan to strip down.



Take the time in the days before the Street Fair to really, thoroughly visit the local gay-male tourist sites:


Mr. S Leather at 385 8th Street is a MADHOUSE in the days before the Street Fair, which makes it that much more enticing. Jammed with happy, kinky tourists from all over the planet, it's beyond entertaining, and the best shopping-opportunity you can find in one place. Beware of Squanderlust!  It's hard to leave without bags of great gear.


The day BEFORE the Street Fair is when you want to visit Mister S.  The place is JAMMED. See and be seen.  Cute boys are everywhere, serving free beer, answering questions and decorating the place with their beauty.



If I am bringing a newly-collared boy to the Street Fair for his first time, I will bring him to Mister S.  I always order him to strip down to his boots and nothing else, wearing my collar.  I tell him to stay away from me for at least an hour, and to talk to random people in the crowded store.

When he reports back in, he is dizzy with pleasure.  He has never been naked in public for so long, and everyone that interacts with him starts by asking "Who collared you?"  When he points at me, they say "You are very lucky!"  He is finally understanding what being collared by a Sir can be like.




One block away from Mister S at 1201 Folsom Street is Leather Etc. It is a treasure for those of us in the know.  Why?  It is run by a family that makes the leather shirts and pants that are sold at Mister S for a LOT more money.  You can buy them a block away at the factory outlet store for quite a bit less!  The staff is TRUSTWORTHY - they will never steer you wrong.  Let them help you find your heart's desire in leather form!

Wicked Grounds

As far as I know, it's the only full-time, entirely-kinky coffee shop on earth.  GREAT staff, and a warm, welcoming environment.  Highly recommended.




Restaurants


As soon as you pull into town and dump off your luggage, be sure to take the trolley to the Castro and have breakfast in a window-seat at The Cove on Castro at 434 Castro Street (across the street from the Castro Theater), particularly on Saturday before the Street Fair. The kinky tourists will be swarming past the place in full regalia, and it makes for a GREATLY entertaining meal.


If you are going to San Francisco for ANY reason, sample the superb restaurants.  North Beach has some spectacular Italian restaurants, all competing on the basis of their excellent reputations.  Expect to lick the plates when you are done.  I like to visit Mona Lisa when I am in town.


If you like seafood, I strongly recommend Tadich Grill.  It's a tradition for me to get my seafood urges satisfied there.


Obligatory San Francisco Joke


One time, my husband and I decided to do a few typically touristy San Francisco things while we were in town.  We rode the cable cars, visited several museums, and headed over to Fisherman's Wharf.  We wandered by an outdoor seafood restaurant, where tourists sat at picnic tables, eating seafood and tossing shells into 55-gallon drums.


I saw a King Crab carapace in one of the trash bins, and picked it up.  I pulled the legs off, and then placed it on my forehead.  In my deepest voice, I said "IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE!  I AM FISHERMAN'S WORF!"



What other places/parties/events would you recommend?

If you have more tips that would help others, please pass them along to me at papatony @mac.com - I will archive them over the years, and keep sending them out!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Three of My Heroes

From Papa Tony:


I have a hero, and his name is Eric Paul Leue. This man is deeply wise, informed and has the courage of a lion. I urge everyone to read this interview, and to be properly informed about PrEP, an intensely valuable topic.

In my own case, I know how damaged I am, as a result of losing so many brothers to AIDS thirty years ago. It has warped my perspective, inhibited my ability to be truly intimate, and cut short my relationships due to misunderstandings and unreasoning panic.

I'm not the only one. I'm just keenly aware of my limitations (therapy has helped), and I am actively working to get past the damage, and to keep an open mind. Old attitudes that became locked in because of a frantic instinct for SURVIVAL have caused me (and my generation) to freak out about sex, inhibitions, intimacy and ecstasy. We've got serious hang-ups, but we are so close to it, we simply can't see the extent. Please forgive us - It's social PTSD.

If we as a culture are going to get better, we are going to have to TALK about sex, as it is, right now, rather than dragging around old decisions and attitudes that have become obsolete. If better days are going to come for us all, it's time that we start a whole new conversation.

Here is where it starts.




I have another hero, and his name is Mr. San Diego Leather 2012/American Leatherman 2013 Aaron Duke, otherwise known as "Leather Oprah" :->

His style is to initiate DEEP, meaningful and substantive conversations on Facebook that move the ball forward for the Leather/Kink/Fetish culture.

These online discussions can get contentious, and emotions can run high, but nobody gets outright mean, because they respect Aaron so much. He asks the questions that need to be asked, in order to bring about meaningful change in our culture's attitudes, traditions and expectations.

Like Oprah, he has an easy, warm and welcoming style. He is NOT a perfect example of a human being (have you ever met one?), and he lets it ALL hang out, without shame or pretense. He embodies "What You See Is What You Get". On one hand, this can mean that his opinions or reactions may discomfort you. One the other hand, you can TRUST that what he says is what is truly so for him. His stock-in-trade is his deep authenticity.

Every once in a while, I like to dive deep into one of the more contentious, LONG discussion-threads. In fact, Aaron's virtual salon is the only place on Facebook where I do so.

If you crave much more from our Tribe than you are normally getting, this is a great place to start.




I have another hero, and his name is Mr. San Diego Leather 2014 James. He has bravely come out publicly, telling his truth about his struggle with PTSD. Please watch his newest video, and you will find every reason to love and trust him, as I do. It takes a mature, masculine man to shed his tears without shame.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Florentine Flogging, Lesson One with Travis: Video Tutorial

 Previous publicity for this event.



From Papa Tony:  Travis is an incredible teacher, and we all made progress. He taught basic Florentine Flogging, which means using two floggers simultaneously.

I don't know about anybody else, but I am NEVER going to depend so much upon one hand, ever again!  It's really nice using two.

Thanks to our gracious host slave keith, it was a warm, safe and welcoming space. As you can see in the photo above, the men were intimate, sociable and playful!

Even better, we get to practice our new skills at tonight's Hands-On Demo… RSVP to SignMeUpForEvent @ gmail.com to get the location.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Florentine Flogging Lessons with Travis, Part One

 Calling All Tops!


Tuesday, August 26, 6PM - RSVP to SignMeUpForEvent @gmail.com for location.

See the bottom of this message for prerequisites.


Our own Travis will be teaching FMSD Tops how to do Florentine Flogging (meaning, using two identical floggers simultaneously).  

Travis will be teaching those of us who are ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH BASIC FLOGGING, since this is an advanced technique.  If you aren't yet familiar, you WILL be used as a flogging bottom!

If you're not prepared with your flogging skills, don't worry - Everybody will get their chance, and we won't leave anybody behind in the months to come. We want the maximum number of cocky, empowered and handsome Tops swaggering into a party with floggers dangling from their belts!

This same technique also works with whips.



PREREQUISITES BEFORE ATTENDING:

- Be comfortable with throwing a flogger one-handed. 

- If you do not possess two identical floggers (I get mine from FlogMeBaby.com, and I suggest the Mr. Thuddy for $45 each)…


… take two identical hand-towels (nothing bigger), and tightly roll them thusly, and secure them with rubber bands:


Or, just bring matched hand-towels to the event, and we will supply rubber bands.  These items will be used to learn the Florentine form of movement during this workshop.

Audio and Pictures from SUBMISSIVES Discussion

 Click here for the audio…


“Sub it!” (A look into pups, boys, cubs, and being submissive), with the panel comprised of pup nikita, Donnie, boy richard, Stewart and slave bob.

Photos by our brother Scott Smith







Thursday, August 14, 2014

Papa Tony's Verbal History

 


Part 1: Coming Out As A Young Gay Leatherman in the 1970's. Giving the context for what follows.


That's me on the left, with my leather mentor David Dollahite.

Part 2: When Things Went Very Bad:  Part One (telling the stories, and counting the cost for myself, and for our Tribe), and Part Two (feedback, and fun stories). 



From Papa Tony:

I am the founder of FMSD, and ran it for years. Now that I have stepped down as a community leader, I am embracing the role of Elder in our Tribe.  This means that my duties have changed.  I now:

- Celebrate when men in our community have reached their next level of achievement

- Mentor others when requested, and

- Preserve our cultural history. As part of this effort, I am starting a series of talks where I share what has happened in the realm of gay leathermen in the last 38 years, based upon my own experience.

These talks are meant to be real, explanatory and true, even if they are sometimes uncomfortable to hear.  As I shift into my older years, I feel a strong need to tell my story, rather than take it to my grave, like so many men in our Tribe are doing.






Photos from Scott Smith





Photos from Felix Moo

From Felix: I loved your talk tonight. It was very interesting plus you're a good speaker with a sexy voice :)












Wednesday, July 23, 2014

2014 San Diego Pride for Kinksters, From A Historical Standpoint

Short version:

I'm inspired by everybody who showed up, and there were a LOT of fine folks who showed up!

It was NOT this way in the old days.



Long version:

I did some analysis of Scott's excellent photos.  
Over 100 folks showed up as proud kinksters, 
joined the Leather Contingent for 2014, and marched 
in the broad daylight, for all of the world to see. 
When we joined up with the turbo-charged, 
dynamic volunteers at the Leather Realm, 
the level of authentic, proud representation 
of our community at its very best hit 
an emotional peak, that lasted all weekend.

The world noticed.



My first San Diego Pride March, in 1976.  
I was twenty years old, and I marched 
with the San Diego Gay Youth Group.  
That's Jeff Brosby in the middle, who ran the group.

My second San Diego Pride, in 1977.  
That's me in the middle of the banner.
We are in Hillcrest, approaching the corner of Robinson and Sixth.
The Advocate Experience was a gay-specific version of est.



1978 Pride March.  You can guess why I took this picture.
The white banner says "LESBIANS POLITICAL…" something else.


San Diego Pride 1979.  
I was joining up with the gay car club 
"Great Autos of Yesteryear" (G.A.Y.)
to drive dignitaries in the parade.


1999, driving the current Emperor and leatherman, Czar Dean.

I celebrated my 40th San Diego Pride in 2016.  I've either been IN the parade, or watched it, every single year.  I could go on and on about the overall aspects of Pride in general - the festival, the parade (it used to be an angry march, with shouted slogans) and so forth, but I choose instead to speak about the Leather aspect of the annual celebration.

That's me, driving my '61 Imperial convertible, Pride 2000, 
carrying Leather And Sister Hood ("LASH").

In the earliest days of San Diego Pride, there was no representation of leather, whatsoever. As I recall it, folks didn't show up in leather in the parade until around 1984. We were always in the back-most portion of the parade, and we were clearly not welcome.

California Cyclemen Motorcycle Club (CCMC) in front.
Rampart Leather Tribal Dance Party and RHSD floats, Pride 2000. 
I hosted Rampart for two years, and Bill Freyer was head of Red Hankies San Diego for 17 years!
Other than LASH, there WERE no other leather folk in the parade this year.

There was a lot of angry shaming of drag queens and leather folks, because we "made everybody else look bad".  Here we were as a gay community, trying to gain acceptance, and the TV cameras would only focus upon the freaks. Folks called to chastise TV stations for stereotyping us with their coverage, and then would focus their anger upon those of us who didn't, or couldn't fit in.  We were manifestly unwelcome.

SD Leather Contingent 1999.  The whole thing.

Starting around 1998, there was a lot of resistance in the kinkster crowd to the idea of even being part of the Pride Parade. If we were going to keep being made to feel unwelcome, then we would create our own, entirely separate thing. The entire reason for the invention of Leather Pride was to show defiance to the larger community: to lay claim to the many things that we felt that we could be proud of… our volunteers, vendors, artists and artisans, and community leaders.


If nobody else would appreciate us, then we would celebrate our own Pride.  After all, "Pride" is the exact opposite of "Shame". 

That's Wendy Sue on the far left. Pride 2000.

Even if we had the goal of being in the Pride Parade, we could never get it together. There would be separate, hostile factions, who would be in separate parts of the parade. That went on for years. It was very discouraging. I give great credit to Wendy Sue for sticking with the dream of bringing everybody together, no matter how resistant they were.





That brings us to the present. 

Parade Contingent, 2012.  That's Wish Linda laying down in the front.  
She has been the glue that has bound us together in the parade… 

The younger generations of kinksters don't have the heavy burden of AIDS survival holding them back. This is a good thing. The bad years are in the past, where they belong. Now, it's time to celebrate! 

Scott Smith's photos tell the story, very eloquently. What you're seeing in 2014 is not just sheer quantity, it is our quality that speaks for us... We are joyful, affectionate, diverse, unified and celebratory. We have nothing to be ashamed of, and we can't imagine why we would.

San Diego Pride Leather Contingent, 2011

San Diego Leather Pride has had many years of success. It has accomplished much to build our community's pride and self-reliance. However, the world has changed around us. I credit the Internet with having exposed more and more people to the fact that kinky folks are everywhere. Oddly enough, we have become more and more normalized.

San Diego Pride Leather Contingent, 2013

At least here in San Diego, leatherfolk have become TRENDY. I'm not kidding. If I am in gear, and I show up in public, I am an intensely observed and admired figure for fashionable young people. Instead of hiding in darkness, and only showing up in public once a year for the parade, more and more people are sharing their truth, expressing what is in their hearts, and living in the light.

San Diego Pride Leather Contingent, 2013

Of all the cities that I am aware of, San Diego's Leather Tribe shows incredible authenticity, more and more often. As with any family, we have our disagreements periodically, but when it is important for us to draw together, we always do.

A fraction of the San Diego Pride Leather Contingent, 2014

Speaking as an older man, I've seen some seriously wild changes happen in our community, and all within my lifetime. I NEVER would have expected that we would show up so unified, numerous and bountifully joyous as kinksters.  The older leathermen who were my mentors in the 1970's would have blown a gasket if they had looked at 2014 in a crystal ball… They had lived in constant fear of imprisonment for being sexual deviants, and they thought that I took too many foolish risks by being so open and unashamed. I did it, because I wanted the world to CHANGE.

It did, and we can all continue to take credit.

Many thanks to everyone who gave their best toward Pride this year, whether it was in the parade, or working hard at the Leather Realm.  You have shattered old preconceptions, and paved the way for even better days for the younger folks who follow us.