Saturday, September 30, 2017

Gear up for MOVIE NIGHT! Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Donnie's EXCELLENT poster.

Three previous Gear-Up Movie Nights.  
A you can see, you can dress up, or dress down.

Mr. Southern California Bear 2014/2015 Donnie Vella has taken up the noble task of organizing a fun excuse to gear up if you've got it!

The movie will be Tom of Finland, which is Finland's entry with the Academy Awards for Best Foreign Film.  It's currently rated 95% Fresh on

It's best to arrive early, for photos, socializing and fun!


Just getting dressed-up fancy and seeing a movie, simply isn't enough.  So, if there is enough time for everything that we have planned…

- There will be a raffle to raise money for charity.  Don't be too surprised if the tickets for the Tom of Finland-themed Leather Fetish Ball (coming upon December 8) are among the prizes.

- Marc Bellenger, the Curator and head of Community Development for the Tom of Finland Foundation, will be telling us what it was like to assist in making the movie as accurate as possible.

- After the movie, we are meeting at the San Diego Eagle to talk about the movie.  Bring your ticket stubs!

When:  Wednesday, November 1, 2017 (the movie starts at 7, but arrival around 6PM is a very good idea.  Tickets might sell out).

Where:  Landmark's Ken Cinema, 4061 Adams Avenue, San Diego, CA 92116, RIGHT underneath the KENSINGTON sign, at the junction of Highway 15 and Adams Avenue in Kensington.

Here is Donnie, from the Facebook page for this event

Come and Join the Fun at The Landmark Hillcrest Cinemas for the Film based on the Life of Tom of Finland 🇫🇮

Wear Your Favorite Leather Gear in Celebration of the Man who inspired the Revolution

Known to the world as Tom of Finland, the proudly erotic drawings of artist Touko Laaksonen shaped the fantasies of a generation of gay men, influencing art and fashion before crossing over into the wider cultural consciousness. But who was the man behind the leather? 

Dome Karukoski’s stirring biopic follows his life from the trenches of WWII and repressive Finnish society of the 1950s through his struggle to get his work published in California, where he and his art were finally embraced amid the sexual revolution of the 1970s. Tom’s story is one of love, courage and perseverance, mirroring the gay liberation movement for which his leather-clad studs served as a defiant emblem.

(We will also be collecting $ for The Leather Foundation by doing a Raffle and taking donations ~ The Leather Foundation is a 501c3 that does a lot to help those in need here in San Diego and also stocks the Bars with Condoms and Lube) help give back if you can.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Pictures and Video from the Ritual Fire Event

On Sunday, September 10, 2017, Club X and FetishMenSanDiego got together for a relaxed, sociable evening on the beach at Fiesta Island.

The occasion was meant to prepare many folks for the Ritual Steel event, one month later.  It was very dark out, so the flames and the lights were very vivid, with a powerful and tribal drumming backbeat. Everyone was encouraged to socialize with somebody that they did not know before, so the night passed far too quickly.

By the end, folks were declaring that we need to repeat this event, again and again!

From Doriam:

We want to thank everyone who attended Ritual Fire this past weekend; your energies were a wonderful contribution to the feeling and fun of the evening. With the feedback we've received so far, we are looking forward to hosting more Tribal events so that we may share space, stories, and grow together.

The pre-event publicity for this event follows:

This weekend is our next BIG EVENT: Ritual Fire; A Tribal Bonfire Experience! You are invited to attend our Cross-Over Event with Club X this Sunday, September 10th from 6:30 to 9:30pm at Fiesta Island.

Ritual Fire is designed to be a unifier for our communities, in preparation for Ritual Steel. Ritual Fire is about transformation and growth, and draws inspiration from the life cycle of the Phoenix, a fire bird of Greek mythology - When tragedy draws near, the Phoenix ignites into a magnificent flame, and reemerges from its ashes, reborn.

We encourage you to look within yourselves to that which hinders your growth. By indulging in the majesty of the flames, and the energy shared beteeen our Brothers and Sisters, it is our hope that your troubles will burn to ash and, like the Phoenix, you will rise again with renewed vitality and a breath of new life.

If you've never been to Fiesta Island, it is located off of Highway 5. Keep an eye on our Like Page for an exact location on the day of the event. Volunteers are needed to reserve portions of the venue throughout the day.

II. Guidelines & Expectation

The evening will be filled with Tribal Energy from beginning to end. Members of the Fetish Men San Diego leadership team, as well as representatives from Club X, have volunteered themselves to lead blessings, performances, and interactions designed to make the event memorable and ever-lasting for each of our Brothers and Sisters.

We recommend arriving between 6:30 and 7:00pm, as Sunset is scheduled to happen shortly after 7'o'clock. As the Sun begins to set, we will have one of Fetish Men's Elders, Papa Tony, lead us through the Opening Ceremony and Blessing for the evening to get everyone in the right frame of mind for the evening.

After this, we will have several members of our community contributing to the Tribal Energy with performances to light up the night.

Attendees will be encouraged to observe these performances, and engage in Fire Photography if they so choose!

Toward the end of the evening, we will re-congregate near the main fire. Our Leaders will welcome any of our willing Brothers and Sisters to identify their weights, and to leave the ashes of those weights behind.

Flame Poi:

Here is a small portion of Kyle's excellent Flame Poi performance…

More Delightful Images...

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Review: PTSM Singletail Whip, with Instructional Video

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!

Papa Tony:

This is going to sound like an advertisement.  It is not.  I make ZERO money, kickbacks, spiffs, discounts or any other reimbursement from the community work that I do. 

I am reviewing the "PTSM" whip.  "PTSM" = "Papa Tony Signature Model".  I am Papa Tony.  This is a page of articles that I have posted online. I spend around twenty hours a week, mentoring Tops.  This article, and the energy that I spent bringing the PTSM into the world, is just a small part of that work. I get my payoff from reading the fan-mail that I get, on an ongoing basis.

The PTSM whip was expressly designed by me, in every detail.

I did this, because I want every sadistic Dom, Top, Sir or Madam to have a superb, high-quality whip without having to choose between FOOD for a month, or a lifetime-quality whip, which usually costs twice, to four times as much. The Recession never went away, for folks who work for a living.

I work closely with Steve Molla, who runs I help him to design optimal, high-quality toys that cost a TINY fraction of what is found elsewhere. I strongly endorse the Tommy Tomcat and the Mister Thuddy, both of which I helped to design.
The current project is something called the "Papa Tony Signature Model" singletail whip.  It is utter perfection for playing indoors. I specified every detail, and they have absolutely nailed it. I've been playing with the prototype, and it is as fine as any whip that I've ever seen or used.

What makes it so nice?

- Lead shot in the bag in the handle. Perfect for balance, without adding thickness.
- Three-foot length (not counting the cracker).  Doesn’t hit the wall and ceiling when you are using it on a human being indoors.
- Perfect feel, heft and flexibility.  This encourages perfect aim.
- Easily-replaced crackers (I prefer Kevlar crackers, myself).

What are the drawbacks?

Just one:

- It's not as PRETTY as a super-expensive, custom-made whip.  It's also probably one-quarter of the COST, so there is that.

You can buy fancier whips, but not even slightly better for the job at hand:

My preferred pattern, after vertically singletailing a bottom.

I have owned many, MANY whips, and other toys.  Why so many?  I like to bestow them upon rising stars in the community, who have proven their worth, over and over:

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Review of the FMSD Male-Only Play Party

From Papa Tony:

On September 2, 2017, there was a Men's Play Party at a very large, well-equipped play space.

I cannot praise it enough. I have attended hundreds of such parties over the last four decades.  Here is what I loved about this one:


This event was TIGHT.  Perfectly planned, laid-out, staffed and no dead spots anywhere.  It was a cornucopia of pleasure, by design, and by intention. Doriam and his team really got every detail right.  This is true leadership, and I am quite eager to attend every one of the upcoming events that the team has assembled for our pleasure.


Just like all well-run play spaces, volunteers were there to:

•"Set the Table" by moving heavy equipment around, to make the space as optimal as possible.
• Welcome everyone personally,
• Monitor the cleanliness of the space,
• Check to make sure that everyone felt safe,
• Keep the snacks and non-alcoholic beverages ready, and
• Clean up and move everything back the way that it was.

Remember, these were unpaid volunteers, who were there to make SURE that men could have the best possible time, and we did. They could have been anywhere else, but they wanted to be in service to a beautiful dream.

The volunteers worked as though their lives depended upon it.  You couldn't turn around without seeing an eager-to-serve man from the organizational team, poised to lend a hand if needed.  If sheer good intentions were a power-source, they could have easily levitated the really big building where we played.

The Play Space

There were ample play-spaces, play-settings, toys, and opportunities to socialize quietly, away from  the crowd. I can't think of a single thing to make it better.  It even had air-conditioning, to fend off the horrid humid heat outside.  The last time we had ANYTHING of this quality in San Diego, it was in the early 1990's, when "Submission Valley" was still in operation.

The Crowd

Right around forty playful men stayed for the evening. This event was a perfect opportunity for seasoned players and eager newbies to mix and bond with each other.  This, more than anything else, reminded me of the good old days, when the generations would mix, for the benefit of all.  The best way to learn kinky play, is to directly observe someone who is darned good at it, in real time.

As always with FetishMenSanDiego events, it was quite Top-heavy.  Plenty of Doms, Sirs and Masters to go around.  Our newest Certified Dom was presented to the crowd at the event kick-off, and he played with (I'm guessing) fourteen men before he staggered home.  It is a good thing that he is so young and studly, because this old man would probably have had a stroke, trying to keep up!

The Play

Arriving men needed some social time to establish trust and commonality, just like at every play-party, ever.  A few tours and lessons occurred to break the ice, and then men got down to business.  The many, many play-areas were continually busy until closing time.  Sounds, sights and experiences were vivid (and safe).  Shy newbies who were bold enough to ask, finally encountered their fantasies in real life, and went home happy.

 I played for hours, and I have been in perfect Top Space ever since.  I am glowing with pleasure.


I CANNOT stress the point more:  San Diego's leathermen have needed something this superb for a long, long time.  The next time that one of the team's events come up, SHOW up, and I will gladly join you.  If you want a taste of the Good Old Days with a big splash of the most modern fun, that time has arrived, and in a big way.

I am SO satisfied!