Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!
Can u tell if someone isn’t a good dom and will probably hurt u?Papa Tony:
Here is the problem. You CAN’T, all by yourself. As I have said before: It takes a village to raise up a healthy, happy kinkster. There are bad people out there. Every generation has them… You can either learn by harmful experience, or you can find support among trusted friends and THEY will have your back.
As I have said in a previous article, belonging to a group of like-minded folks can cut WAY down on being victimized by folks who get pleasure from abusing eager, open-hearted and innocent types. Your friends and allies will warn you about known abusers, and drive them away, either by shunning, or actively accusing them to their face.
Most folks don’t take the second approach, but I always have. Sometimes, the only thing that a bully respects is a bigger bully. I am very protective by nature.
Study Materials For Newbie Submissives:
A list of what to watch for contains topics like Gaslighting, Narcissists, and Manipulators. Do some Google research on all of these topics, so that you develop a permanent allergy to ALL of them.
I went to Google and searched for abusive grooming signals. I found lots of useful information, and I particularly liked What Is Sexual Grooming? 7 Things to Know About This Abuse Tactic, by Emma Sarran Webster. She’s talking about folks who even younger than you, but it’s the same techniques, no matter what age you are.
Final thought? If your instincts tell you that somebody is somehow “not right,” BELIEVE IT THE FIRST TIME.
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