By Sir Alex - (See other posts by Sir Alex):
- Clothespins: I’d recommend these for someone starting out with pain play. Apply these to areas where you can pull tight enough skin to attach the clothespin such that it is unlikely to suddenly fly off. Don’t leave them on any space for more than 10 minutes or so. After some time the initial pain of application the area will numb. Twisting the clothes pin can cause the pain to flare up a bit. Do note that clothespins snapping off are incredibly painful and should only be done if the submissive is ok with that. Someone who can handle the pain of clothespins being applied may not be able to handle them snapping off suddenly. Lastly, I recommend the wooden ones as their jaws are solid where the plastic pins use
- Twine: Twine has a variety of uses: tying off genitals, creating a zipper line (using twine to string together clothespins so you can yank them all off at once in a line. This is VERY painful), etc. I recommend not using it for restraints because it can cut off blood flow very easily and painfully.
- Lube shooter: These plastic “syringes” are super useful to have around. They have a very dull tip and a ½ inch diameter. You can insert them directly into your lube bottle and pull the plunger to get the measure of lube that you want to use. The shaft of the syringe is lubricated by sticking it into the lube bottle so you can insert, press down on the plunger and have someone lubed in seconds with no messing around trying to get lube in the hole. Ultimately, be aware that sometimes the lube shooter can break as they’re cheaply made, but at 8 bucks I’ve been a repeat customer because life is so much better with them than without.
- Paddles: Paddles are usually available for pretty cheap and they’re a toy that isn’t generally considered too intimidating and are PERFECT for beginners. I strongly recommend getting one. Pick one that suits your style.
- Rope: Should go without saying that rope is something worth having. If you have any interest at all in bondage, go for it early on and start practicing hard right away. There are plenty of free resources online that can teach you knots and “Two Knotty Boys Show You the Ropes” is a great guide book that can help you get started.
Some notes about toys:
- Toys don’t make the man: You don’t HAVE to own toys to be a good dominant. They can help make a scene more interesting for both you and the boy by adding variety but don’t feel like you have to own a closet full of toys to be respected. Mastery over what you do have is key.
- Don’t buy something to try it out: I bought a beginner’s electro kit because it was on sale for Valentine’s Day and I had an interest in Electro. I rarely get to use it and it turns out a tens unit is the standard toy for electric play and what I got was a weak to moderate violet wand. What I later learned was I should’ve waited until I had someone to play with who was interested in electro to help justify the cost. Chances are, if I met a guy into electro… he’d have his own unit anyways and I could learn from him how to use it safely. There aren’t enough guys into electro in my area that I get to use it more than once or twice a year.
- INSTEAD explore the toys others own first: If your friend has a tens unit, and can show you how to use it, that's the ideal. Always give new toys anyone else owns a chance! They might end up being something you end up purchasing, and if not? You didn't spend any money that you would later regret.
- DO buy toys that add to your central kink: If you’re really into impact play feel free to focus your purchase on toys that support that kink because you’re looking to play with others who share that particular kink anyways.
Have a question or need a friendly ear?
Ask me anything about BDSM at BDSMadviceAlex AT gmail DOT com!
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