The Importance of Flexing a Leather Kinky Toy

I have posted many, many instructional articles and videos on proper, skillful and entertaining ways to use kinky toys. These instructions will always satisfy, and will make you the king or queen of public play-spaces, worldwide.  I know this for a fact, after 44 years in the kinky community, and personally teaching thousands of newbies over the decades.

I recently realized that I never got around to visually explaining WHY a brand-new, leather  singletail whip (or cat-o-nine-tails) needs some extra effort when you first take it out of the packaging. (there are also paracord whips, which need no flexing, but that is another topic, for another time).

Click images for more detail.

These are a few of the whips that I have owned.

Perfect example:  New, woven-leather kinky toy, fresh out of the package.

Not just curved, but curved upward, against the force of gravity!

There is no machine-automated way to construct a leather kinky toy.  They are all made by hand.  As a result, they all arrive stiff, with a distinct curve. This curve is terrible, and must be removed.  Here is why:

Accuracy is EVERYTHING when you are using a whip.  If you attempt to use a brand-new singletail whip on an actual human being, they will have a low opinion of your abilities.  Negative gossip will get around, and it's not your fault. Let me help you with some useful wisdom.

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How To Flex A Kinky Leather Toy

First of all, DON'T flex your own toy, if you are the dominant one.  Make your submissive do it. That's how they build up Sub Points!

For that matter, make the submissive BUY the whip that you will be using on them.  Why? Because you DON'T want to use the same whip on dozens of people who don't know each others' medical history. Each singletail should optimally be used on only one person, since it can pierce the skin and cause bleeding.  The proper term for this is that the whip is "blood-bonded" to the submissive.

Grab the whip while watching a TV show or a movie, and flex it firmly, back and forth, moving along the body, up and down the length.  When your hands get tired, take a day off and start it up again. This breaks down the fibers so that the leather isn't so stiff and unworkable.

I have flexed my own whips (and urged eager submissives to do it for me as well), so that each one is always silky-smooth and dependably accurate in its delivery.  

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It's Okay To Flex a Whip, With An Exception

There are plenty of websites and authoritative Tops making firm, declarative statements telling you that intentionally flexing a toy to break it in is the worst kind of transgression.  They say "Break it in by using it!"

I call bullshit.*

After 44 years in the hardcore kink scene, I have YET to see a whip, flogger or other toy explode into fragments, crumble into powder or snap off of a handle due to being flexed, early in its life. I have played with literally thousands of people, and have visited several hundred dungeons since 1977.

* The exception is with any single-tail whip that has a bag full of lead pellets or powder inside the part that you grab (if the whip doesn't have a stiff handle).  You don't want to break that bag, so avoid flexing the first ten inches by the handle...

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Accuracy Above All

My reason for flexing a toy as soon as I get it is to get it to THROW ACCURATELY.  Handmade leather toys like this one have a natural curve.  Some folks like to "adapt" to the toy's idiosyncrasies.  Fine. They are welcome to do so.

I prefer to pick up a toy and have it adapt to ME. I despise having a toy suddenly YANK into a new, unpredictable direction due to the leather being tighter in one direction. Clipping the edge of a submissive's ear (when you were aiming for between the shoulder-blades) is embarrassing.

So, here is how I sometimes like to flex a whip:

If given a choice, I like to go to a non-leather gay bar - say, a twinkie video-bar, or a piano bar.  I will stand idly chatting with friendly people while flex-flex-flexing a whip, and they won't hear a single word that I'm saying - their brains will be 100% filled with thoughts like "What is he going to DO with that thing?"  It's the bratty sadist in me.

When the toy is flexible and floppy in all directions like a freshly dead snake, it's just right.

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Stiff, Versus Flexed

In Figure 1, that image was taken about a month ago, as I was attempting to use a whip that the submissive had flexed... somewhat.  I thought that I would give it a try, though I had my doubts.  It needed to be as floppy as an over-boiled noodle, and it was not. I made him finish the job properly, in the weeks to follow.

It's obvious that I could not control where the whip was striking, even after decades of experience. It was NOT a good result, because the whip's residual stiffness was causing the whip to YANK in unwanted ways.

In Figure 2, I am showing a PERFECT result, on a different sub, with a different, fully-flexed whip:

- Every strike is in the perfect strike-zone, avoiding kidneys, neck and shoulders.

- I am "fanning" the strokes, precisely placing each strike next to its predecessor.

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Fanning As A Goal, Explained

Nobody can master singletail play without lots of careful practice, long before trying it on an actual human being.  Here is how you do it:

Take a nice, soft and floppy pillow, and drape the open end of the pillowcase over a door.  Close the door.  Put your headphones on, and listen to an audiobook, not music.  Why?  Because the logical part of your brain will attempt to interfere with what you are doing.  It always wants to drive.  Give your thoughts something logical (like a podcast) to work on, while you build up permanent muscle-memory.

Why do I specify a soft pillow?  Because it will show you an immediate divot when you strike it. It's great for giving immediate, useful feedback.

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The Towel Snap

Hold the whip's handle in your stronger hand, and hold the other end in your other hand, right by your ear.  At the moment that you release the higher end, yank the whip forward to strike.

The classic Towel Snap technique.  Best for beginners

For beginning whip-throwers, this is called the "Towel Snap".  There are scads of whip-cracking videos on Youtube that can teach you more advanced throws, but this is the best way to start.

The goal is to strike the leftmost part of the pillow, then strike precisely to the right of the previous stroke, until you reach the right side of the pillow.  Then, reverse the process. Fanning back and forth, over and over, is the only way to become proficient and ACCURATE.  As I keep insisting, accuracy is very, very good when you start applying a whip to a human being.

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The Hidden Benefit

If you stick with it, and practice your aim, you will never UN-learn it. You could walk away from kinky play for decades, and the moment that you pick up a whip again, everything will come right back to you.