Get What You Want: Just Ask!

Hundreds more articles like this can be found

at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!

---

mysadisticdesires: This afternoon I was having a conversation with a new s-type friend from fetlife about various things and she mentioned acting out in order to be “punished.”

As a D-type there is nothing more frustrating than an s-type ignoring rules/protocols and causing trouble instead of just asking for what they want… One of the classes I took at last year’s Kinkfest opened My eyes to what punishment actually is - the last step in a three step process: correction, discipline, punishment - but that is a different writing.

Back to the subject at hand - asking for what you want. Regardless of dynamic, gender or sexuality you should never feel ashamed to ask for what you need. If you need more structure ask, if you want spankings ask, if you want to eat bon-bons and watch Adventure Time because you can’t D/s today

ASK! I know this is a crazy concept to some and let’s face it tumblr is perpetuating the ‘Daddy I’ve been bad’ mentality but how simple is it to be honest with your partner and ask for what you want?
Stop being passive-aggressive, stop being unhappy or unfulfilled, get exactly what you want by asking.

---

submissive-seeking:

I’ve never understood the “brat” mentality. From the outside looking in, I judge it to be detrimental to the dynamic because it’s based on dishonesty. This is not a “normal” relationship. It’s foundation is the harsh, cold light of day – precise language, rating scales, and continued meta talks to accurately name your needs, wants, and limits.

If you have to manipulate to get your needs met, you have far bigger problems.

If you’re manipulating to get your way, get what you want, or control, you are not submitting and have no genuine Power Exchange.

If you are mantipulating to “get even” or be aggressive, or address anger, you need therapy. A spanking’s not gonna help you!

---

Papa Tony:

I've been telling folks for years:

"Manipulation is what you do, when you don't trust somebody else with the truth."

---

submitting2men:

I'm dealing with a young fella who has several times told me he likes to be bratty .... It is so odd to me. He purposely drops "SIR" with dominants just to see if they notice and correct him then is completely turned off when they don't immediately correct him. It's pathological. And completely non productive.

Only about half the time when we ask for what we want from the world do we get it. Why do people continue to assume their odds will improve by not asking and by secret password games?