Thursday, April 24, 2014

Mentoring for Tops/Sirs/Doms/Masters

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!

This page is meant to be Study Materials for the folks that I teach worldwide.  

Text, Video and Audio Articles

Periodically, I like to teach a crew of Doms/Tops/Masters/Sirs.
I cover topics such as technique, philosophy, ethics and interpersonal connections. In the midst of hands-on demos, I share a lot of success techniques, coping mechanisms, and fun stories to illustrate my points.

Expect repetition… It's never, ever intentional.  
However, I am an older man with terrible memory.

Moving My Primary Base of Operations Onto Tumblr

My memoirs: currently being added to, every week. I don't hold back at all.
Forty years of an extraordinary life as an open and proud gay leatherman.

Flogging For Beginners (On Both Ends Of The Flogger): Video Instruction. TECHNICALLY, I'm supposed to be teaching technique, and I do, but it's all about establishing commonality and trust, so that everybody is ALWAYS pleased.

I still get fan-mail every day for this one-hour video, four years after I posted it.

For Tops: Preparation and Seduction, Before Fucking A Newbie
EASILY my most popular article, ever.

Dangerous Subs

Dangerous Doms

I did a much more-than-usual, in-depth review, and exhibition of the many ways that I use a flogger.

When Kinky Scenes Go Wrong

Leaving Marks on the Ass That Can't Get Enough

Leather Protocols And History

Public Scene: Barracks Bar in Palm Springs.  
I include it here to show my playing style.

Video: "Bullshit Bondage" - A Ninety-Second Introduction to Rope Bondage

Here is the link for buying your own sling and rim chair, plus the Fisting 101 from the Top's Perspective audio.

Personality: In order to be true to yourself, you have to know who you are… 
Strengths and weaknesses. Take the test here (it usually lasts about ten minutes), and then Google the results.  For reference, here is my own personality type.

Video: Styles of Throwing Floggers and Whips

Audio: Relationships Between Gay Kinky Men

Video: Toy Bag Tour.
There is also a separate, different, AUDIO-only version, that you might find interesting.

Recorded at the beginning of a new series of classes, explaining
Tribal History, my own history and motivations for teaching.
Endorphins, and flog swarms.

I have been digging through old archives and found the following audio recordings of Men's Discussions that I moderated a few years ago at weekly gatherings for FetishMenSanDiego.  These were extremely popular worldwide when they were new, being downloaded, and listened to, on every major land-mass except Antarctica (those darned penguins!).

They're re-posted here, to help folks find something that may be of good use.  They are a treasure-trove of interpersonal wisdom and open, honest sharing by many men.

Review: Portable St. Andrew's Cross

For Tops: Preparation and Seduction, Before Fucking A Newbie
EASILY my most popular article, ever.

Flogging For Beginners (On Both Ends Of The Flogger): Video Instruction. TECHNICALLY, I'm supposed to be teaching technique, and I do, but it's all about establishing commonality and trust, so that everybody is ALWAYS pleased.

The Tommy Tomcat: Video Instructions

Florentine Flogging, for Visual Learners, Plus Flame Whips and Poi! - A more advanced form of flogging, using two floggers.

Fisting 101, From The Top’s Perspective

How To Be A Respected Sir/Dom/Top/Master

Stern, Angry Masters: My Philosophy, In A Nutshell

The Four Phases of Training a Boy:

1. Establishing Trust with a Capital "T" - Intimacy and trust, intertwined.

Extra: SAFE, SANE, AND NON-CONSENSUAL – When Play becomes Sexual Assault, hosted by the Center for Community Solutions and Stonewall Citizen's Patrol. This one is FASCINATING - the flip side of the previous week's topic.

2. Finding the Buttons: investing in getting to know what pleases and excites a submissive. This one is what I would call a "white-river-rafting" experience.  The conversations gets wild, and covers a lot. The opposite of boring.

3. Training/Virtual Toy Bag Tour: This one moves quickly, but is much more focused than usual. The pictures that I refer to are here: Flog SwarmMarksSame marks, nine days laterLeather As Distancing Mechanism.

4. Wednesday, August 14, 7PM: Ecstasy, Part One: What Holds Us Back.  This is a DEEP topic, and undoubtedly the first time that this subject has been covered so honestly, thoroughly and passionately. The older men in the crowd REALLY got into it, which is a rare and huge blessing.

Here is the imagery for what holds us back (with the MOST important reason being carefully avoided, because it's so awesomely scary, that nobody wanted to bring it up, so I did). I've also posted the image of what we yearn for, and here is the "Tumultuous Picture" that I refer to.

How to Be An Effective Top

Being a Man of the Community. I was speaking one-on-one with a younger man who is earning his Master's cap. We had my willing slave nearby, to act as "training wheels". I chose to record my introductory talk.

Good Tops vs. Bad Tops - It all has to do with virtues and values. Here is the graphic to go with the talk.

Non-Verbal Communication.  Attraction, seduction, building trust.

Bottom Talk - Roundtable discussion about what being a bottom means. June 19, 2013.

Top Talk - Roundtable discussion about what being a Top means. June 12, 2013.

How to Deal With Unwelcome Attention, Without Being a Jerk


Laying My Ghosts to Rest, After Far Too Long:

Part One and Two: Fun Stuff, and In the Midst of the Holocaust
Part Four: Eric's Story
Part Five: Catharsis At Last

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Audio and Pictures from "Stories From The Old Days" Discussion

Intensely valuable video clips from the 1970's,
showing what we were all up against.

San Diego's Gay Bar History - A KPBS documentary.  
Mark Holmes and I are in it, representing the Leather Bars

Friday, September 26, 2014
Memories of Wolfs, the San Diego Leather Bar

May, 2003: Leadership Lecture by Jack McGeorge,
during the Leather Leadership Conference.

Connecting Between the Generations

To get an idea of what results from following this advice, check out FetishMenSanDiego's massive  Photo Archives.  Expect to be astonished!

Community Cookbook, Part One: Introduction.

Community Cookbook Part Two: Honey Traps.

Community Cookbook Part Three: Boy Scouts, Traffic Cops and the New A-List.

How To Build Real Community in the Internet Age:

Nov. 2012: Part One: The Guiding Philosophy

April 2013: Part Two: Men in Crowds

Gear, Toys, Boots and Garments

I include many San Diego resources here, because I teach local Tops.  
This is part of their Study Materials.

Mister Marcus

My prized new toys...

Mister Marcus is a valued member of Club X San Diego, and I'm glad to get to know him better.  He hand-crafts play-toys that are individual works of art, AND craft.  If you want a unique new toy (or want to give a loved one the very best), he can be reached at AT, and he has a new Web site. He has no desire to crank out identical items like pasta, so don't expect that!


I'd like to endorse the folks at JimSupport in Palm Springs as an excellent source of kinky hardware, such as slings, fuck-benches and rim seats. Everything is of the highest-possible quality and utility.  I'm delighted with my own extra-tall sling, as shown in this image.  It's GREAT for suspending folks in all sorts of ways, such as by the wrists on all four sides!

Tribal Son

I admit it - as I get older, I LIKE masculine jewelry and accessories.  It's okay for males to be peacocks!

Let's say that you take a trip to the International Mr. Leather contest in Chicago, or Mid-Atlantic Leather, Folsom Street Fair or Dore Alley (among many others).  These events are CROWDED with thousands of the hottest men in the world.  You will see many of the sexiest, most hyper-masculine men setting-off their brawny, wide chests and pumped-up arms with cuffs, pendants, rings, belt buckles and other goodies designed by Brian and Peter at Tribal Son. They always have a booth at the bigger events, and are well-worth finding in person.

Everything is designed to be Tribal and MALE. I think that I have seven of their pieces, and always want more.

General Advice And Opinion


I am including these, to illustrate what is missing in our Tribe - The celebrations that cause our local community to rejoice when somebody reaches their next level of achievement.  

Every human Tribe has initiations. It serves everyone's needs when we honor those who have proven themselves honorable.

I dearly hope that folks in other cities will do the same.

Wednesday March 19, 2014:

Friday, June 6, 2014

Friday, April 4, 2014

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Friday, September 13, 2013

Thursday, June 13, 2013