Thursday, April 24, 2014

Mentoring for Tops/Sirs/Doms/Masters

I will be adding more to this page as time goes by… The newest stuff will be at the top.

This page is meant to be Study Materials for the folks that I teach in San Diego.  My previous series of Master Classes started in September 2015.  I have completed a new "semester" that started in April 2017.  Newer links will be posted at the top of this page. 

Text, Video and Audio Articles

Master Class, Spring 2017: Audio and Video
These are the recordings of my newest, ongoing semester of classes.
I record them so that more and more folks can learn from an older, experienced kinkster.

Review: Portable St. Andrew's Cross

For Tops: Preparation and Seduction, Before Fucking A Newbie

Flogging For Beginners (On Both Ends Of The Flogger): Video Instruction. TECHNICALLY, I'm supposed to be teaching technique, and I do, but it's all about establishing commonality and trust, so that everybody is ALWAYS pleased.

The Tommy Tomcat: Video Instructions

Florentine Flogging, for Visual Learners, Plus Flame Whips and Poi! - A more advanced form of flogging, using two floggers.

Fisting 101, From The Top’s Perspective

How To Be A Respected Sir/Dom/Top/Master

Stern, Angry Masters: My Philosophy, In A Nutshell

The Four Phases of Training a Boy:

1. Establishing Trust with a Capital "T" - Intimacy and trust, intertwined.

Extra: SAFE, SANE, AND NON-CONSENSUAL – When Play becomes Sexual Assault, hosted by the Center for Community Solutions and Stonewall Citizen's Patrol. This one is FASCINATING - the flip side of the previous week's topic.

2. Finding the Buttons: investing in getting to know what pleases and excites a submissive. This one is what I would call a "white-river-rafting" experience.  The conversations gets wild, and covers a lot. The opposite of boring.

3. Training/Virtual Toy Bag Tour: This one moves quickly, but is much more focused than usual. The pictures that I refer to are here: Flog SwarmMarksSame marks, nine days laterLeather As Distancing Mechanism.

4. Wednesday, August 14, 7PM: Ecstasy, Part One: What Holds Us Back.  This is a DEEP topic, and undoubtedly the first time that this subject has been covered so honestly, thoroughly and passionately. The older men in the crowd REALLY got into it, which is a rare and huge blessing.

Here is the imagery for what holds us back (with the MOST important reason being carefully avoided, because it's so awesomely scary, that nobody wanted to bring it up, so I did). I've also posted the image of what we yearn for, and here is the "Tumultuous Picture" that I refer to.

How to Be An Effective Top

Being a Man of the Community. I was speaking one-on-one with a younger man who is earning his Master's cap. We had my willing slave nearby, to act as "training wheels". I chose to record my introductory talk.

Good Tops vs. Bad Tops - It all has to do with virtues and values. Here is the graphic to go with the talk.

Non-Verbal Communication.  Attraction, seduction, building trust.

Bottom Talk - Roundtable discussion about what being a bottom means. June 19, 2013.

Top Talk - Roundtable discussion about what being a Top means. June 12, 2013.

How to Deal With Unwelcome Attention, Without Being a Jerk


Laying My Ghosts to Rest, After Far Too Long:

Part One and Two: Fun Stuff, and In the Midst of the Holocaust
Part Four: Eric's Story
Part Five: Catharsis At Last

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Connecting Between the Generations

To get an idea of what results from following this advice, check out FetishMenSanDiego's massive  Photo Archives.  Expect to be astonished!

Community Cookbook, Part One: Introduction.

Community Cookbook Part Two: Honey Traps.

Community Cookbook Part Three: Boy Scouts, Traffic Cops and the New A-List.

How To Build Real Community in the Internet Age:

Nov. 2012: Part One: The Guiding Philosophy

April 2013: Part Two: Men in Crowds

Gear, Toys, Boots and Garments

I include many San Diego resources here, because I teach local Tops.  
This is part of their Study Materials.

Mister Marcus

My prized new toys...

Mister Marcus is a valued member of Club X San Diego, and I'm glad to get to know him better.  He hand-crafts play-toys that are individual works of art, AND craft.  If you want a unique new toy (or want to give a loved one the very best), he can be reached at AT, and he has a new Web site. He has no desire to crank out identical items like pasta, so don't expect that!


I'd like to endorse the folks at JimSupport in Palm Springs as an excellent source of kinky hardware, such as slings, fuck-benches and rim seats. Everything is of the highest-possible quality and utility.  I'm delighted with my own extra-tall sling, as shown in this image.  It's GREAT for suspending folks in all sorts of ways, such as by the wrists on all four sides!

Tribal Son

I admit it - as I get older, I LIKE masculine jewelry and accessories.  It's okay for males to be peacocks!

Let's say that you take a trip to the International Mr. Leather contest in Chicago, or Mid-Atlantic Leather, Folsom Street Fair or Dore Alley (among many others).  These events are CROWDED with thousands of the hottest men in the world.  You will see many of the sexiest, most hyper-masculine men setting-off their brawny, wide chests and pumped-up arms with cuffs, pendants, rings, belt buckles and other goodies designed by Brian and Peter at Tribal Son. They always have a booth at the bigger events, and are well-worth finding in person.

Everything is designed to be Tribal and MALE. I think that I have seven of their pieces, and always want more.

General Advice And Opinion


I am including these, to illustrate what is missing in our Tribe - The celebrations that cause our local community to rejoice when somebody reaches their next level of achievement.  

Every human Tribe has initiations. It serves everyone's needs when we honor those who have proven themselves honorable.

I dearly hope that folks in other cities will do the same.

Wednesday March 19, 2014:

Friday, June 6, 2014

Friday, April 4, 2014

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Friday, September 13, 2013

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Second Annual Family Reunion Weekend, Late May 2014

This page is the final landing-spot for anyone who wants to stay current on what is being planned for the weekend of May 31. It will be updated as time goes by.

We are coming up fast on an annual tradition that is DIFFERENT, by design.  It's an excuse for the nicest folks to gather close, and to be glad that we have such a great local leather/kink/fetish Tribe in San Diego.  Here is what happened last year.

This time around, we are opening it up to the Tribe BEYOND the gay leatherman crowd. Our brothers and sisters deserve to have a GREAT time, too!

It's not a fundraiser.  There is no $149 VIP Package. We want this entire weekend to be

- Inexpensive
- Heartfelt, and
- Authentic.

In other words, this entire weekend about being open, friendly, affectionate and FUN.  It took a lot of work to get to this point in our community's history.  It's time to celebrate what we've done together.

If you're coming from out of town, let us know if you need help with lodging, by emailing us at SignMeUpForEvent Be sure to mention "Lodging Help" as the Subject line.


- Saturday, May 31, 12 noon: the greatly-anticipated Flog Swarm, held at a location to be disclosed to those who RSVP (and soon) to SignMeUpForEvent @ - Be sure to mention "Flog Swarm".

- Saturday, May 31, 6PM: Dinner at Harvey Milk's American Diner. (535 University Ave, San Diego, CA 92103)

- Saturday, May 31, 9PM: Movie Night

We are still gathering info about other, surrounding events. As soon as all of the ducks are in a row, we will update this page.

From Papa Tony: This is the last time that I will be hosting this annual collection of events - The plans have been in place for a long time, and I want them to succeed as I step away further and further. I am training my replacements, so that the traditions will continue onward.