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1. Be wise in your choice of partner. We are attracted to others because of different things. For example, they compliment us constantly and boost our self-esteem; they remind us of a person we once loved or admired; or they spend money on us and buy us lots of gifts. However, you should look for a partner who has great qualities, who shares most of your values, and is trustworthy and kind.
2. Know what your needs are in a close relationship. Also, communicate these needs; don’t just don’t drop some subtle hints. And remember, too, most partners can’t read each other’s mind.
3. Always act in ways that your partner can respect – as respect and liking are closely intertwined.
4. Learn how to handle conflict in close relationships. Because we’re different people we’re bound to disagree. We need to learn to negotiate, to sometimes give and take. Also learn to say you’re sorry and admit you’ve made mistakes.
5. Solve problems when they have happen. Don’t shut your partner out. Don’t write them off as stupid or as hyper-critical.
6. Invest time, thought and energy in the relationship. You need to make the effort to keep the fires alive.
7. Enjoy and maintain friendships with other people, too, and don’t look to each other to build your self esteem.
8. Accept that love is something that tends to ebb and flow. Don’t base your love on feelings as they’re highly changeable. It’s how you act that matters – and shows you truly care.
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