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psych-quotes:
The world is full of relationship advice, from magazines to the Internet to conversations with your friends and family. Everyone has their own theories on what works and what doesn’t, and there’s so much out there it’s hard to know what to listen to. For every good piece of advice out there, there is bad advice too. Here’s what to listen to, and what you should ignore:
Listen
· Don’t sweat the small stuff. This is great advice because it tells you to focus more on the big picture of your relationship than every minor problem. Basically, if you love each other and are a good match, then the little arguments about what movie to see don’t matter.
· Don’t go to bed angry. In other words, deal with your problems right away. Letting things brew over time can build resentment and make the problem even bigger. Get into the habit of talking it out right away will clear up issues before they have a chance to grow into something bigger.
· White lies are ok sometimes. In general, honesty is the best policy. But sometimes a white lie is ok, especially when you want to spare your partners feelings from being hurt. It’s ok to tell them that their cookies are delicious, even if they aren’t, or that you love the sweater they bought you, even if you don’t. Sometimes keeping the peace and making them feel good is better than brutal honesty.
· Laugh it off. Couples who can laugh together and can have fun together even when times are tough, have a great chance of a lasting relationship. Life throws some hard stuff at us sometimes, and if you can have fun together and laugh even when things are bad, you are well on your way to happiness together.
· Don’t assume. Try to stop making assumptions about what your partner thinks/feels/wants. Making assumptions can be dangerous because you can read a situation the wrong way and get offended for no reason. Or, you can think your partner is happy with something when they really aren’t. It’s always best to ask them directly about what they’re feeling instead of making assumptions.
Ignore
· Make him/her jealous. Any advice that tells you to play games in order to win your partner’s attention or affection is bad advice. Don’t try to flirt with other people to make your partner jealous. It could just hurt them and drive them away instead of bringing you closer together and they may wonder if they can really trust you.
· Don’t be too available. There are all sorts of rules about how much time you should spend with someone when you start dating, but the simple truth is this: if you like each other and want to hang out, do it. Don’t pretend to be busy or put restrictions on yourself because of what other people say you should do. Just go with what feels right.
· Don’t call for 2 days. This is another example of pretending to feel something other than what you do. If you like someone, just call. Don’t worry about waiting a certain length of time in order to appear cool.
· Be with someone who loves you more than you love them. Don’t bother with the power struggle over who is more into whom. A healthy relationship is based on balance and equality, not on one of you being more desirable or having more power.
· All you need is love. While loving each other is important, it doesn’t solve all of your problems or mean that you’re right for each other. There are some issues that aren’t fixed just by loving each other. Only you can know what’s right for your relationship and for you, no matter how much you love each other.
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