Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Hundreds more articles like this can be found

at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!

---

psych-quotes:

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a strong idea or belief in something that comes true or takes place as a result of our belief that it will. The success of our relationships and our happiness in our relationships is largely impacted on our attitudes about them. Here’s how self-fulfilling prophecies are at play in our relationships:

· Thinking you’re not good enough. If you believe that you aren’t good enough for your partner, you’ll always be finding reasons why this is true. When you are looking for reasons to back up your theory, you’ll find them everywhere. Your lack of confidence will show up every time they talk to another guy/girl, and your insecurity will likely lead to the demise of the relationship. Even though your partner probably doesn’t think so, your belief that you aren’t good enough has the ability to kill the relationship as you act in a way that proves that they are better than you.

· Thinking you don’t deserve to be happy. Lacking self-esteem and self-confidence ultimately translates into a belief that you don’t deserve happiness in your relationships. By thinking this, you will seek out partners that either don’t make you happy, or you’ll sabotage ones that have potential as a defense mechanism. So by believing that you don’t deserve to be happy, your actions will ensure that you never have the chance.

· Thinking that your partner is a loser. If the attraction you once saw in your partner has waned and you now think that they aren’t good enough for you, you’ll start to see evidence of this everywhere. The small flaws that you once overlooked will suddenly be huge and obvious until we can’t take it anymore. This often happens when we decide that we want to break up with someone, and from that moment on we can’t stand to be around him or her.

· Thinking that your relationship is wonderful. Not all self-fulfilling relationship prophecies are negative. In this case, believing that you have a great relationship with a wonderful partner will often be true. Your positive attitude and view of the relationship will help you to overlook flaws and enjoy your partner for all of their good qualities, making you feel happy and satisfied in the relationship. A good attitude can go a long way in being happy in our relationships.

· Thinking you’ll be alone forever. It’s easy for this belief to come true because we simply give up on ourselves and stop trying. Believing that you’ll end up alone can easily be proven correct if you stop looking for love.

· Thinking you’re undesirable. Feeling lousy about ourselves translates into negative emotions that other people pick up on. So believing that no one wants you means that you probably act in such a way that ensures no one will. If you have low self-confidence you probably aren’t coming across as being upbeat, fun, positive, energetic or any of the other things that people look for in a partner. In this way, believing that you’re undesirable to others is a self-fulfilling prophecy that we prove through our negative actions and attitudes.