Advice to a New Submissive

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Hi Sir. and Thanks for Your blog. It seems to me that you Sir, are both a reflective and intelligent Master. I have enjoyed reading a lot of your advices, and they seem to comfort my mind a lot. I am new to slave thinking, even though I am a born slave. What is your best advise regarding a 24/7 slave/master relationship, if I have concerns in regards of safety, how the society will look at it, and also struggle with my own mindset. (Slave, sub, bottom is all "negative" words in the society) KR

ukstudentalpha:

- You should think of yourself as an aspiring slave. Slave is an evolution of submissive, and it shouldn’t be your role on Day 1 unless you’re very experienced. For example, I’m considering claiming someone as a Slave, but they’ve been in that role before and know what they want. If I were you I’d call myself a submissive and say “I’m hoping to become a slave some day”.

- Communication. Standards. Mutual respect. You need to communicate a lot. You need a Master who meets certain standards (communicates, doesn’t punish you for being an individual, respects your limits, is wonderful from your perspective). You need a Master who respects you as a person, and explores Domination over you in a way which leaves you feeling enriched as a person. Watch out for Red Flags.

- Safety should be your biggest concern. Set strong limits and take safety precautions. For example, make sure a friend knows where you are and who you’re involved with, inform your Dom that you’re expected at a certain place by a certain time, get to know them before meeting them… and the biggest one is to be VERY CAUTIOUS about tying yourself up or putting yourself in a truly vulnerable situation. 

- Society will look down on your role as a submissive, so make public displays of submission and blackmail and publishing of pictures strong limits, things you will never be okay with. Find a Master who doesn’t want to Humiliate you, rather degrade you. Degradation is a Master making you lick his load off of the floor. Humiliation is him photographing it and posting it on tumblr.

My biggest piece of advice is to be yourself and find what works for you! So many people look for some standard or normal type of D/s to conform to, but we’re rebels against societal expectation already. You can find a Master who will cuddle you, hit you, both or neither. You can find a Master who is really scrawny, since it makes you feel like a big piece of meat for his pleasure, or you can find a bigger Master since it makes you feel vulnerable and safe in equal measures. You do You. And when you’ve found the right Master, the one who hits all your spots and makes you feel like the most owned slave in the world, make sure to treat him like a God.