Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!
Note from Papa Tony: if you have any other suggestions, then please pass them along to askpapatony AT gmail DOT com. I will collate them together each year, to benefit the maximum number of folks.
Master Chuck:
This post is not intended for everyone. If you need an entourage of travel companions, skip this. If you need to post myriad pictures of your holiday on FaceBook, skip this. If your once a year ‘get away’ sanity check needs to be wholesome with a G Rating, skip this and Google ‘Disney World’. Oh, one last one: if your Kink Quotient is low, you definitely need to log onto Google!
This post is for those with a fascination – dare I say preoccupation – with kink. It’s for those who do not live in a major metropolitan area that offers a large and accepting community of openminded and accepting folks. It is for those who wish to immerse themselves in the “reality” of like minded people for a few days and build a lifetime of memories and grow your network of kink-alleigned friends and begin building a circle of friends you never dreamed possible.
The vacation we’re talking about requires planning and saving – a lot of saving. But it may be a once-in-a-lifetime event, so start saving now! There are several kink events that draw unbelievable numbers of people and the following is in no way a complete list and omits a fair number of European events:
Folsom Street Fair, San Francisco;
Up Your Alley Street Fair, San Francisco;
International Mr. Leather Contest Weekend (IML), Chicago;
Folsom Street East, New York City;
Southern Decadence, New Orleans;
What to Expect…
There’s a limit to spoon-feeding, so you will want to research each event and determine what works best for you based on your interests, your geographical location and your budget.
Folsom Street Fair is the largest leather event in the world and draws in the range of 400,000. It’s impossible to accurately describe the experience but most every imaginable sight it there for the ogling and spanking and whipping demonstrations abound.
Events like IML (International Mr. Leather) afford more opportunities to meet new people and make new friends. Its is a multi-day event with cocktail parties and many other opportunities to meet people. If you’ve never witnessed a leather-clad Master sitting in a restaurant with his naked/nearly naked collared slave next to him, drawing little if any attention, you need to give serious thought to a Memorial Day Weekend in Chicago!
Why It’s Important and For Whom…
For most, power exchange is fuel for a good wank but for a few power exchange is a way of life – a lifestyle denied because we live in Omaha or someplace similar. If you are hardwired to the power exchange life and seriously dream of living the life rather then fantasizing about it, it’s important that you see it first hand and build a network of likeminded friends. The real players in the power exchange community are amazingly friendly and inclusionary – and a network of real people is a great first step for any Sir or sub to begin their journey toward a complete and fulfilled life.
Don’t forget to send a postcard!!!
Papa Tony:
I agree with what Master Chuck says, and I have some additional info for the events that I have attended:
Folsom Street Fair
I would suggest the Folsom Street Fair for most folks who are new and interested, because it really is extraordinary. If you weren't particularly proud of being who you are beforehand, you WILL be by the end of the weekend. Smiles, approval and community everywhere. It's a big boost to your understanding of your place in the world.
I am very tall, and I am easy to follow in a crowd. However, what if it SO crowded that you can't get to me? Last time I attended with a crew of friends, the last guy in our entourage got separated from us at around 3PM (peak crowdedness), so we stopped and waited for him. We could SEE him, twenty feet away, but it still took him a good twelve minutes to fight his way to us.
So, arrive early, and plan to leave once the crush of the crowd starts to alarm you..
I Suggest Emitting "Warm Fuzzies," As An Exercise in Social Graces:
- That looks SO good on you!
- You shine like a star!
- You look MUCH better with your shirt off!
- Every moment that you spent on that outfit, was time well spent!
- Thank you for blessing us with your beauty!
It doesn't matter if they are sexually attractive to me. I'm not looking to DATE them, I am BLESSING them with what I am truly feeling. It doesn't matter if they are only wearing a simple outfit. If what they are wearing is a perfect self-expression, single 'em out and tell them so. You can make all of the difference for somebody who needed to hear that.
Once I express my blessing, I smile, and I KEEP GOING, surging through the crowd with everybody else. While I do so, I retain the memory of that man or woman lighting up with a brilliant smile. I just made their day, and with no expectation of return. There was nothing there, except the blessing that came from the heart. That makes it STICK, and they will be floating on a cloud of happiness afterward.
That's called a "warm fuzzy."
Artists and Audience
The usual rule of "ASK before photographing" doesn't apply at Folsom Street Fair, and I don't care if anybody disagrees. It's just a fact. Folks go there to BE ADMIRED, and it would be idiotic to say "What are YOU looking at?!?" there. Browse some photos and see what I mean.
There are two kinds of folks there: Artists, and Audience. The artists are really, really easy to spot. They are making themselves as beautiful, or kinky, or alarmingly unusual as they can.
If a group of men is swaggering along together, wearing almost nothing, and showing off their hard-earned muscles, they are there for external validation - They WANT people to ooh and ahhh over their masculine charms. So, don't try to "sneak" a photo of them without their knowing. You're not fooling anybody, and it's just silly and futile.
Catch their eye, shout out "KODAK MOMENT!!!" and hold up your camera. They will amiably and gladly strike a pose, flexing and preening. You just gave them what they came for… a sharp spike of gratification. So, be generous with that.
Unfortunately, everything is changing, and FAST.
I used to take dozens of Folsom newbies on guided walking tours of dozens of Kinky Mecca Tourist Traps, such as
Stompers Boots (moved to Fort Lauderdale),
Worn Out West (a HUGE kinky gear and toy consignment store),
Madame S (a huge and top-quality store, just for women)
Butler Uniform (they sold official cop uniform gear to ANYBODY, not just cops)
Bear Magazine headquarters
Many custom-leather tailor shops
Many leather and cowboy bars
They have closed down or moved away in the last few years, due to skyrocketing rents and gentrification. Thanks, Silicon Valley multimillionaires!
More Study Material
Read my other article, to get news about what still remains:
Folsom Tips For Newbies: Audio, Links and Advice
Up Your Alley Street Fair
Same thing as Folsom Street Fair, but smaller, and primarily for gay leathermen.
International Mr. Leather Contest Weekend
There are very few women who attend the International Mr. Leather weekend. Those who do, tend to get ignored in the larger scheme of things. 99% of attendees are gay men.
HOWEVER, the IML weekend has (BY FAR!!!) the largest vendor fair, anywhere. It's no big deal to get Kinky Squanderlust to the point of putting thousands of dollars on your credit card, because there will be wearable gear, toys and kinky furniture that you will not find anywhere else.
Arrive a few days early, because Chicago is GLORIOUS at this time of year. Take the boat tour of downtown and the lakefront. It's like a boat tour of Venice, but with REALLY TALL buildings. Take the guided step-on, step-off bus tour (but don't believe the hype about the local hot dogs - they are tiny, and boring. You can get better ones at the supermarket).
If you've never been to IML weekend, there is a sharp dividing-line between two major agendas among attendees:
On one hand, you've got the men who are looking to have sex and kinky play with as MANY men as possible, within one weekend, and that's a wonderful thing. Nothing wrong with animal sensuality… I recommend it to everyone. The lobby at the host hotel is INTENSE, day or night, with men cruising like mad.
On the other hand, you've got the folks who are there to cheer for their hometown heroes (such as Mr. San Diego Leather), running for the title of International Mr. Leather. Yes, they get around pretty thoroughly in their spare time, and, they also care passionately about the future of the larger community. When someone comes home from Chicago with a fresh new supply of idealism, everybody benefits.
sfslavetobe:
Dore Alley 2018
There will be many hot pics of Dore Alley posted today and this week. Some will circulate for years. Certainly there are muscular bare chests, firm exposed asses, some sexual acts and many attendees who wished they had all of the above. my post is a little different as usual.
In the early morning the streets look quite different. A small army of volunteers gathers to direct trucks where to drop barriers and to set up booths. Some are vendors or clubs.
The streets haven’t welcomed several thousand partiers yet - mostly men, some women, some who prefer to not be categorized. But a lot of work goes into making it ready.
You can see some interesting accessories. Even before the crowds appear. At 8 am it’s foggy and chilly. In 4 hours it will be very different
For a $10 contribution you can see semi naked twister - this time with furries. Or explore flogging at a booth from the 15 Association- one of the oldest BDSM organizations in the country. Or, buy a beer, shop for accessories, and eat terrible overpriced junk food.
The sun breaks through, the beat starts and the streets start to fill. This is smaller than Folsom - and many prefer it that way. Less gawkers, more like the “old days” - at least in their imagined memories.
Yet even though most of us in attendance look nothing like the hot pics we love on tumbler and elsewhere- there is a freedom here. A joy. One not available everywhere, that allows us to be not the stud or Master or slave or whatever it is we wish we were - but to be ourselves. To accept and receive the same. To explore and to be loved and cared for as W/we are while W/we seeks to become what W/we feel called to be.
This is US. On the streets, unashamed , unwashed, unafraid. Unchained or chained, dressed up, naked. Muscular, fat, young old white black male female citizen immigrant. Drop your labels. Drop all labels. Live.
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