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beastpup:
I don’t know many things for sure about myself, but I do know this: I live to serve.
8 months ago, I was able to embrace my submissive side and say “this is who I am”. Since then I journey, I observe, I struggle and yet I go deeper into understanding. What follows are my meandering thoughts and opinions.
One thing I observe is that each sub / pup’s style of service, what they need, how they express it, is unique to them. Whatever master or owner they have, this doesn’t change. We have our core, our essence, guiding our actions and our hearts.
For some the style and essence is about the humiliation, the satisfaction of knowing there is no depth of abasement they cannot take to absolve their humanity. With self-respect stripped away, there are no barriers to what can be performed. I can only imagine this is incredibly liberating. I would call this type of slave the pig.
I’ve had some dominants try to approach and woo me like a pig. Verbal abuse the opening calling-card to test the nature of my submission. How very unsuccessful they are.
Other submissives throw themselves on the altar of adolescence; putting themselves before their “daddy” and showing tender vulnerability in how they need to be nurtured with their master to be better in their lives. I would dub these slaves the boy. Giving absolute loyalty and affection to those they serve, but taking the support, the guidance in a retrograde path back to adulthood and potential. And who doesn’t need some outside sustenance in their lives? What a wonderful way to crystallze it to a pure, accessible and loving form.
But even this I turn from. I know anyone can see my struggles and know that yes… I do need nurturing. But have more to give my master. Much more. I endure much, and through these trials I know that I am not a boy, I am not a pig.
I don’t have a master. One day I will be lucky enough to have that in my life. And to you, if you’re our there, reading this, my future owner. Let me tell you how I submit and what I offer.
I am a servant. I am a slave and I exist to make you happy and my highest satisfaction is making your life more comfortable. If you think of an archetype in fiction, I exist… I am Alfred in Batman, I am Carson in Downton Abby. I am the butler. (And a beast, a bull, a pup…)
I want to serve you in quiet dignity. To perform each task with relish and pleasure, be it making your breakfast, your supper, your bed. But this style isn’t just a domestic calling; It’s about something you are proud to own. When we are around others, be it friends, family, strangers and they see me at your command, performing with love and loyalty whatever is asked, they can’t help but be impressed. I can always give and do more, and I will. Upgrading my skills. Upgrading myself. Bigger beast for his master. The ultimate servant.
I only seek this purpose in my life, because otherwise all the work I put in to make a success of my business, my bodybuilding, anything really… all seems so pointless. When I began this journey in meeting the man I thought I was destined so serve, there was such a relief and a feeling like I had a reason to go on. The loss of that relationship left me feeling purposeless again… but no, I still want purpose. I’m not going to raise children. I’m not going to be an activist or save endangered species.
But if I can change one man’s life, if I can raise him up higher than all others and make HIS life that of a god… then my time on this existence will have been well spent. And all the pain and all the struggles for a reason.
And that is how I serve. That is how I will serve you. I’m only holding on for the day I kneel at your feet, and I earn a collar at last.
- Beast.
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