Just A Friendly Reminder...

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at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!

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temptingdominance:

I know there’s a lot of really heavy and intense things on Tumblr that reflect a fantasy world of BDSM. There’s a lot of people out there that will tell you that you have to obey without question. That you have to endure somebody treating you like shit because you’re a submissive. That you have to be an object.

I want to remind you that that isn’t true. Most of the captions written on Tumblr would never be said in real life. I guarantee you that these people don’t have the balls to walk up to somebody and say that to them out of the blue. They thrive off of anonymity. It allows them to forget their Humanity.

Trust me, I understand there’s a time and a place for humiliation and degradation. But no human being deserves to be treated like that 24/7. We are social creatures. Our emotional and mental health needs affirmation at times.

Basically I’m trying to remind you that submission is a gift. To those of you that are new, you don’t have to put up with being treated poorly simply because somebody tells you that’s the way it is. It isn’t that way.

People can dismiss me. They can call me overly romantic. But here’s the thing about being a dominant, you have to in some form care about the other person. Otherwise you’re just a fraud.

neswpnw:

Perfectly expressed by @temptingdominance. The real test of any and all relationships, including BDSM ones, is mutual caring. Yes, it’s that simple.

On the surface, BDSM offers a splendid opportunity for scams (through “financial domination”), cruelty (in S/M), dehumanization (through “objectification”), etc. But keep in mind that genuine subs are in no way weak, self-loathing individuals, and no genuine Dom gets any fulfillment that way.

On the contrary, within a framework of caring, the yin/yang dynamic of BDSM can actually build particularly strong relationships because of the emphasis on mutual trust and the openness to experiment and variation, going well beyond the confines of societally-imposed conventions.