Friday, January 18, 2019

Doms, Daddies & Masters

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!


Your Partner Wants to Submit to You: Now What? - Ask your partner: Can I have some time to process this and get back with you about how I feel? (Be sure to actually do so though, or animosity will be created by your not addressing their needs.)

How to Build Up a Scene - By “scene”, I mean a structured period of play. In a way, you could think of it as “scripted”, having a beginning, a middle and an end, but it doesn’t need to be a role-play.

Anxiety in Dominants - Despite what the stereotype of a D-type may be, there’s no proof that they are, on average, less anxious than submissives (but if you know of a study with evidence to the contrary please share it with me).

Beyond Dominance: Humility - A Dominant must have confidence, yes. Confidence in their ability to lead, to make competent decisions, to guide their submissive’s growth. But if confidence becomes hubris, there will be disaster...

Alpha Tips - Being Alpha is more than just being confident in what you expect. It is leadership, guidance, wisdom, responsibility, knowing and setting boundaries; and it is both self-discipline and discipline of others.

What Drives Dominance - People may do the same things but for very different reasons. And while people generally look for compatibility in the things (protocol, titles, fetishes), they should be looking for compatibility in the needs.

I Am A Sir With No Need for Force, Discipline, or Abuse - a VERY popular article

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive - The most common way I’ve heard Dominance described uses words that I wouldn’t use to describe a dog. But one thing I’ve almost never heard…what do Dominants deserve? Where is our “10” list?

On Responsibility and “Choice” - Being a Dominant, Alpha, Daddy… the standard we are held to MUST go higher than what is legal. We must be Ethical.

Taking Care of Your Boy - If you wish to be a Sir you must accept the responsibility to take care of your boy, physically and emotionally.

A Considerate, Courteous And Courtly Sadist - Despite your sadism, you come across as a considerate, courteous and even courtly individual. I'm not sure I'd be able to reconcile those aspects in me if I had them. How does one do that?

Myths about Cash Masters - Cash Masters come in every variation of sexual orientation. Some are 100% straight, some are bi, and some are gay. There is no one-size-fits-all Master.

A Suggested First Encounter - Rather than attempting to recreate a scenario associated with a porn picture, it might be far more comfortable if the Dom orders the sub to strip, kneel and hold a position with his hands clasped behind his neck.

So, You Want To Be a Master - Every Dom has an obligation to know his craft: knives cut and so can words, so know your intent before picking up any tool.

Working With Another Dom - The result was an incredible experience for the boy, and also for me. The Dom that joined us was incredibly skilled and had a compatible view of the role and responsibilities of subs and Doms to my own.

Effective Rule Making - I find rules incredibly hot. Being able to mold someone else’s behavior as I see fit to my own benefit is a big turn on. Below I’ll explore how to construct useful rules and the mindset to have while thinking them through.

Why Some Gay Men Should Worry More About Their Maturity Than Their Masculinity - ‘My dad taught me that a real man is someone who makes others feel comfortable in their presence.’

Confident vs. Arrogant - Feedback for Doms - Ask almost any submissive and they will tell you the world is WOEFULLY lacking knowledgeable dominants.

Do Doms Experience Fear? - I had a moment recently where I had a boy that i wanted to come and serve. He was kinda nervous about service. We weren’t going to do anything particularly out there kink wise…

Good Skills Make a Good Master - This kind of play is not for the faint hearted or the inexperienced. Presumably the Master is a sensible, competent Master who knows that His learning is more important than the slave's…

Master Domonic's Protocols For a New Submissive - How do I prepare for the session to ensure it’s good? Do you have a plan/roadmap of activities or do you play it by ear?

Maybe I’m Not Dominant Enough? - I strive every day to be a good dom. Maybe I'm just not dominant enough but I'm having trouble connecting with a submissive. I'm not sure if I'm doing something fatally wrong as I am new to this lifestyle.

How to Manipulate Pain Processing - This article is written to fellow dominants about how to manipulate the pain experience. Why? Pain is often a coarse experience for people.

Doms have these days - We have bad days like anyone else.

Sadism vs. Kindness - Despite your sadism, you come across as a considerate, courteous and even courtly individual. I'm not sure I'd be able to reconcile those aspects in me if I had them. How does one person contain both in balance?

Welcome Aboard:  Pay Attention.  This Will Be On the Test! - Don't compare yourself to others.  I see all these people going to several events a year and having all this nice gear and I feel like I’m not good enough. Is this feeling normal? 

The Law of the Jungle, vs. Kindness, Wisdom and Courtesy - Something that has occurred to me a few times now that might strike a chord with you. In wanting to be a better man which is at the core of all this, to be worthy…. it seems a bit like aspiring to knighthood.  Soft Skills work with a community, too.

How do YOU feel when a man begs YOU to be Your slave? - Anyway. It gets old, having to keep correcting a sub. Why not just give them all the answers first? Work toward empowering your sub for pleasing you. Not punishing him for not succeeding at tests you didn’t prepare him for.


Being a Slave-Owning Master Who Is Sadistic, and Sweet - One of my most popular articles. I Was Trained By My First Slave. You heard that right - slaves teach Masters. His needs made him request more from me, rather than just being my boy. I was ignorant, but he asked so sweetly.

Dad/son and Daddy/boy relationships - My own journey

Training a Submissive to Cum on Command - How to get started.  I am assuming that you have read this article, before asking. As one clever follower says, I am giving an excellent example of Operant Conditioning. I suggest further study on the topic.

Being Present In The Moment - I have to forget about the company I have to troubleshoot tomorrow at work. I have to clear my mind of my buddy’s dog going through surgery on Monday. I need to bring my mind fully into the moment and keep it from wandering.

Alphas Are Not Assholes - I’ve been talking to a boy that was very surprised that “I’m so nice to strangers on the internet even though I’m an Alpha”. I just showed him basic decency and talked to him.

How to Become a Legendary Sir - From one who knows

How To Speak With a Sub - Being Open and Honest

Why Am I A 'Daddy'? - I didn't write it, but it really resonates with people.

Make or Break - 'Reprogramming' the submissive with healthy, life-affirming memes

Approval-Based Doms - Don't believe the porn hype. I am “approval-based.” I am a very, very kinky Sir. And, I can’t imagine why I would need to use punishment, discipline or disapproval.

The Joys of Being a Pimp Daddy For A Slutty Sub - Slutty subs have needs, too!

Good Daddies Versus Bad Daddies - Warning signs and VERY good signs

Getting Into New Kink Practices - I’m wanting to embrace my DOM side. I am experienced at fistfucking, and have a boy that lives in another state that wants me to get into bondage and more…

What is “training”? - I get a lot of messages from guys asking me to train them. Based on their requests, I feel that there’s some confusion about what training is and what it does for a boy. So I’m going to briefly discuss what training is and is not.

Better Adult, Better Dom - How to gain some attractive charisma

As Dominant Gay Males, We Are Supposed To Know What We Are Doing - But what if we don't?


The following links are from the BDSM Links And Resources, created by desires-of-a-dominant-man on Tumblr. I rescued it from Tumblr's burning wreckage, so that this valuable information doesn't get lost.

He says:

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves:


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