The Element Of Trust

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im1468:

Is a true Dom one who can use his/her power of persuasion to convince the sub to actually beg for and accept conditions they might otherwise reject? Also, is the infliction of physical discomfort and pain, mutually agreed upon with the Dom then gradually stretching the sub's tolerance limit? I don't think any limits of mine could be successfully expanded unless the physical and mental attraction were mutual. My only fear is meeting someone who would not play by the rules and would do me harm.

Master Chuck:

In my mind, there is not just one definition of “a true Dom” but, rather, there are many and every definition is accurate and valid if it works for the people involved.

Is a true Dom one who can use his/her power of persuasion to convince the sub to actually beg for and accept conditions they might otherwise reject? Potentially, I suppose, but is “his/her power of persuasion” in reality trust, respect, loyalty and the desire to please him/her on the part of the slave? Slaves who love their Master often push themselves to take whatever the Master dishes out in order to please the Master and not feel they are a disappointment. In your scenario, is the Master accepting credit which, in reality, belonging to the slave?

In your final sentence you summarize what constitutes a true power exchange relationship: trust. If a submissive doesn’t truly trust a Dom, he clenches; everything clenches. Something as vanilla as getting fucked by a Sir one does not trust becomes unbelievably painful. Enter the element of trust and suddenly the submissive feels safe that the Sir will take his time, go slowly and allow the sub time to relax and suddenly the act of fucking becomes pleasurable and a bonding experience.

“Playing by the rules” is the gold standard of any Sir worth the title. Anyone who does not respect the limits of a sub is not trustworthy and should be avoided, no matter how great the physical and mental attraction may be; and, similarly, any submissive who makes the blanket statement he has no limits should not be taken at his word, at least until sufficient safe testing of the statement has proven it to be true. Always remember that damage or injury will likely lead to an appearance before a judge.