How fear drives a slave’s existence

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self-aware-faggot: Carlos is not a terribly expressive Master. Realistically, i do not really expect Him to thank me daily for changing the sheets on His bed, or ironing His underwear, or making His dinner. He doesn’t have to thank me because as a total Alpha male, He is entitled to this kind of service. He expects to be served in this way just as He expects that when He inhales, there will be oxygen for His lungs. Being served is just a natural part of His existence.

Nor do i expect to be thanked. i serve Him because He is what He is: a natural born Alpha entitled to be worshiped and served. And, of course, i serve Him because i am what i am: a natural born faggot, the whole reason for whose existence on the planet is to serve and worship Superior Alpha Males. i no more deserve to be thanked for cleaning His toilet or paying His rent that i deserve to be thanked for breathing. This is just natural.

Still, Carlos sometimes expresses His gratitude. He’ll give me that killer smile that just melts my heart. Or He’ll touch me on the shoulder that way He does that just sends chills to my spine. There are a million, mostly non-verbal ways, in which He lets me know that He is satisfied with my service and my adoration. Still, i have to take it on faith that my service is pleasing to Him. Because as soon as my service is no longer pleasing to Him, He undoubtedly will dispose of me and find Himself a different slave. That is His absolute right.

For a slave, the past is never prologue. i understand that i must earn anew, each day, the privilege of serving Him. i can (and should) take nothing for granted. It is this fear (am i pleasing Him as much as i could? are there other ways in which i could serve Him? am i being presumptuous is assuming that He wants me to do this or that?) that represents a constant tension in a slave’s life. That tension is what keeps a slave sharp (and also keeps it up at night).