What being a Dom is about- a submissive’s perspective

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fortheluvofdoms:

So, I have done quite a bit of reading, researching, and tumbling and I don’t see a lot of pieces written about what being a Dominant is about from a submissive’s perspective.

The topic has weighed pretty heavily on my mind for some time now, and so I decided I would write my own piece. None of this is state fact and it is all very arguably opinion. I am writing this as a reminder to myself of what I want and need in a Dom, but also as a collection of things that I see, read, and hear over time.

I am a little/submissive/pet, therefore some of these things might not be so important to one version of a Top as it would be another (Daddy vs. Dom).  If you don’t like it, please don’t send me hate and what not, just don’t reblog. However, if you do enjoy it feel free to reblog and add your own edits underneath. Here goes nothing…

Being a Dom is about knowing when to be selfish and selfless
Being a Dom is about being a keeper of promise and of peace
Being a Dom is about being able to know when to be calculated and when to be spontaneous
Being a Dom is about being a leader but knowing when to follow
Being a Dom is about being educated and educating
Being a Dom is about self gratification and self sacrafice
Being a Dom is about being stern and being loving
Being a Dom is about standing your ground while holding someone else’s footing
Being a Dom is about being responsible and relatable
Being a Dom is about being reasonable and rational
Being a Dom is about knowing how and when to control
Being a Dom is about knowing how and when to lose control
Being a Dom is about being tender but strong
Being a Dom is about knowing the difference between strength and arrogance
Being a Dom is about knowing how to control yourself before you try to control others
Being a Dom is about knowing how to be a gentleman and a lover
Being a Dom is about knowing how to be a friend and an authority figure
Being a Dom is about knowing how to love yourself so you can love another
Being a Dom is about always putting safety first
Being a Dom is about learning more about yourself while exploring another
Being a Dom is about being actively involved in your own evolution and the evolution of your submissive
Being a Dom is about remember that your submissive is a human too
Being a Dom is about being a safe haven with the excitement and attraction of danger
Being a Dom is about being multifaceted and multifunctional
Being a Dom is about knowing which boundaries to respect and which to lightly step over
Being a Dom is about being a communicator and an initiator
Being a Dom is about being flexible and rigid
Being a Dom is about knowing when to make rules and when to break them
Being a Dom is about being an example
Being a Dom is about seeing most of the possibilities, not just one
Being a Dom is about understanding more than one side
Being a Dom is about having power but not abusing it
Being a Dom is about being a protect who knows when to ask for help
Being a Dom is accepting failure as a learning opportunity, not a brick wall
Being a Dom is about finding routine, but being creative
Being a Dom is about being a teacher and a student
Being a Dom is about patience and execution
Being a Dom is about knowing when to speak and when not to
Being a Dom is about understanding and recognizing a submissive’s struggles
Being a Dom is about understanding and recognizing a Dom’s struggles
Being a Dom is about trusting yourself and trusting your submissive
Being a Dom is about being independent, but knowing when and how to depend on others
Being a Dom is about treating submissives with the respect that a Dom requires
Being a Dom is about appreciating differences, but being willing to work with them instead of around or against them
Being a Dom is about compromise
Being a Dom is about being forgiving
Being a Dom is about problem solving
Being a Dom is about feeling, thinking, and then doing
Being a Dom is about balance

But most of all being a Dom is about being a human, recognizing it, and acting as such.

neswpnw:

This is very well thought out, very wise.

Every would-be Dominant or Master should read and think about this. So should every submissive or “slave.”