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By Sir Alex - (See other posts by Sir Alex):
One of the first quandaries I came across when exploring kink was how one punishes a submissive that enjoys pain or otherwise requires unconventional punishment. So I’m going to include some suggestions for punishments and some techniques to apply to them. This is not a comprehensive list of punishments just punishments that I have done myself and can therefore speak on from personal experience. It is important to talk to submissives about punishment and make sure that you won’t cross the line with any punishments you use.
Talk to them in advance of needing them. Let them know the kinds of punishments you employ and make sure when you use one you clearly state what they did wrong, what they should do to correct the behavior, give them a chance to correct it, and make certain to reassure them that you still care for them.
- Scale of 1 to 10: This is not a punishment but it goes well with most punishments. One of the problems I’ve had with subs is that they do not often understand how serious I consider a wrong doing. For this, I say “on a scale of 1 to 10 how mad do you think I am?” Often, the number reported is a few points higher than it actually is and it helps submissives learn what is serious and what an infraction is. Subs inherently want to please you and it can be hard on some subs to be punished at all (bredbeta is a VERY good boy and does not seek punishment). Using this techniquein tandem with any of the punishments below to make it so
- Time out: Time out sounds like something that is useful for 5 year olds but it works very well for submissives of all ages. Before I go any further, some submissives HATE time out and it is important to ask about it before implementing it because they will take it VERY seriously and VERY personally if you do it. Time outs are pretty simple. Firmly grip the offending boy, explain what went wrong, explain that they’re getting a time out and for how long it will be, then instruct them to assume time out. Usually you’ll have them sit in a corner quietly for a few minutes. Sometimes subs will find it hard to settle down and will act out or otherwise test your patience. If this happens, walk over, calmly inform them they’re in time out and explain how you expect them to behave and what they should be doing. Explain you’re going to extend the time out for 1 more minute. If issues continue, I have often found adding a blanket over their head/body is useful to get them calmer.
- Ben Gay: This punishment requires a bottle of ben gay. Merely smear it over the submissive’s balls and cock. This will result in an extremely unpleasant burning sensation. I STRONGLY recommend smearing a small amount of this cream in the space between the thigh and the balls. That area of skin is thin enough that you will get an sense of how bad the burn is. If you apply it and the submissive changes his mind and wants the ben gay removed you can find this elsewhere on the web, but here’s the short version of what to do. Get some tissues and remove as much of the cream from the surface of the skin as possible. Then saturate a cotton ball with olive oil and wipe against the skin until the burning sensation lessens. When you are ready to remove the olive oil use soapy cold water. DO NOT use warm water, doing so will open up pores in the skin and residual ben gay can penetrate there and then there’s nothing more you can do to stop the pain and it will have to be waited out.
- Spanking: Sure, a standard open hand can do wonders, so can a paddle, cane, or crop. You may also find a rough bristle brush to be very useful for creating a nasty stinging for a day or two. Once you start thinking about rough objects like the brush you could use, objects will begin to light up when looking around the room.
- Tickles: This may not sound that bad, but tying someone up and tickling them for 5 minutes straight can really be a torture. I will sometimes use this punishment for lighter infractions.
- Soaping: This is a really old school punishment but it is as effective now as it was then. You force your boy to take soap into his mouth and suck on it (but not swallow) for a time determined by you. Some guys really get off on this kind of punishment and will actually seek it out so be wary who it is actually a reward for.
Have a question or need a friendly ear?
Ask me anything about BDSM at BDSMadviceAlex AT gmail DOT com!
And please, repost my answer if you liked it so others who need to hear this can find it.
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