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I seem to remember seeing a post of yours discussing taking on a second slave, and the first one initially being jealous.
I find myself in a somewhat analogous situation... my SIR has taken on a sub who is himself a Top, so he is both sub and mentee to my SIR. I've never been under the illusion that I am SIR's only boy - I wouldn't want to be.
Oddly, though, I find myself feeling a bit insecure with the new situation. Perhaps it's because I am expected to submit to SIR's new boy when we all play together... I did not really bargain for that as such, though there's no consent violation, either.
And I *like* SIR's new boy. He's a sexy man who - aside from a few of the arrogance issues endemic to 30-somethings - also seems to be an overall decent fellow. I figure time and life experience will work changes on him :-)
It's odd for me, a 56yo man, to feel this way, especially as I have no claim at all. SIR has not given any indication he is going to dismiss me, so rationally, I should have no concerns. How did your first slave get over his unease? Just time and exposure?
This also gives me real cause to carefully consider the feelings of my own boys: two plus a prospective. I see no signs of insecurity or jealousy, but perhaps I am oblivious. I have been watching carefully, though.
I feel like such an adolescent over this, but my feelings around my SIR are intense. I figure since it bothered me more than momentarily, it was worth thinking on. Polyamory + D/s is fairly new territory for me. :-)
If you have any thoughts on this you'd care to share, I'd love to hear them.
Papa Tony:
Thanks for reaching out, good man.
The culture around us does NOT support any part of polyamory. So, each time that a Thruple, a Leather Family or any other form of a multi-way, multi-person dynamic springs up, we are mostly on our own. We usually have to figure it out, day by day. I’m glad to help out.
There are really good books on the topic that might help. If I were you, I would start with The Ethical Slut, and enjoy a nice, cleansing romp through Sex at Dawn. No need to go any farther than that. It’s best if EVERYBODY in the family reads these fine books. Then, honest discussions should follow, so that misunderstandings and hurt feelings are minimized. Knowledge is power.
When my husband of 29 years and I started dating, I insisted that he take the Landmark Forum Introductory Weekend. I wanted him to be on an equal level with me. I knew that I could easily run rings around him if I misused the tools that I had learned, and jerk his chain, and I did NOT want that kind of relationship. I wanted him to be able to call me upon my bullshit. I have never had cause to regret that.
I am quite aware that you, personally, are not the King Alpha God Creature in this extended family. It’s not required. The benefit that you bring to everybody is your questing, sensitive soul and honorable nature. By running and finding out how to make everything work better, you are bringing flavor, spice and a stronger likelihood of continuity to everyone involved.
Good for you!
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