Submissive's Safety

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rbbrbkrbn: My default role is sub but because I was subjected to non-consensual activity, rape is the legal definition, although at that time male rape was not recognised as a crime. I was badly hurt mentally and less so physically by a top I thought of as a friend and mentor. Someone I trusted fully, I found it, and still do find it very hard to trust people to top me.

As a consequence I learned to top and and was taught by people who were safety conscious, and who thought of little details most would not even think about.

Use rope rather than chain because it is easier to cut than chain and you can put a quick release “slip” in the knot so when you pull the end the knot comes undone.

If you have someone standing release the feet first and get them to march on the spot. This returns pooled blood from the legs back into the general circulation. We have all seen guardsmen or soldiers on parade fainting because of this.

I always meet first time in public. When playing even if I have played with that person before I arrange with a friend that I will call them them when I leave safely. If I don’t call by the designated time they will call my phone and if answered ask to speak to me. I have a code phrase something like “everything is great” which means get me out of here. If no reply is received then then the police are called.

As a corollary i never pick up and take someone home from a club or bar. Friends were killed by Colin Ireland.

Another matter I find worrying is the number of subs wanting to be knocked out in breath play games. And worse “tops” who will do it. Once a person becomes unconscious things can go horribly wrong terribly fast as anyone with a modicum of medical knowledge will know…

The use of ethyl chloride, often marketed as maximum impact, and used instead of, or with poppers is extremely dangerous. It was banned in hospitals as an anaesthetic because on the unacceptably high death rate. Patients were dying and could not be resuscitated even with the resources of a hospital operating theatre. One breath can kill an otherwise healthy individual.

One of the things I specialise in when I top is breath control play. I was a senior diving instructor in BSAC and I was also an HSE first aid for divers instructor. I know how to resuscitate someone. I have done it for real three times. It is bloody hard work on your own. Now imagine you have someone in layers in a sleepsack - when every second counts.

Incidentally I would never leave someone on their back alone in a sleepsack. I had a scare. I was sleeping beside the guy and when he stopped breathing I had him out - yes he got tipped out of the sleepsack which was on the bed onto the floor and I had him breathing again in under a minute. He had sleep apnoea and didn’t know. To ensure he was OK I insisted on taking him to the accident and emergency department at the local hospital.

When I top I take my duty of care to a sub very seriously and will always seek expert medical help if I believe there is a problem EVEN IF THE SUB SAYS HE IS OK.