Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Greatest Hits! The Most Useful Mentoring Material

This is a subset of the 500+ articles, videos and audio recordings to be found here.  Rather than force folks to tediously dig through so much material, the following is a carefully-curated page of the PROVEN, popular and most-useful information.

The goal is to get folks to their next level, and as soon as possible.

I've been mentoring kinky folks for a long time, and very successfully.  I started out in the kink/Leather/fetish scene in 1977.  During the early years, I had a LOT of warm, helpful mentors, who all died when AIDS took them away from me.

Their wisdom (and what I have gathered since then) lives on, here.


Advice:

Audio: Introduction & Overview - Recorded at the beginning of a new series of classes, explaining Tribal History, my own history and motivations for teaching, plus Endorphins, and flog swarms.

I Am Broadband By Nature: A Master Class on Meeting Face To Face - Trust me.  This approach WORKS, and can lead to intense pleasure, once we have established better trust… on BOTH sides when meeting for the first time before starting kinky play…

Nourishment For The Isolated Gay Men’s Kinky Souls - Listening in on Men's Discussion audio recordings.  Hugely popular, worldwide.

It Gets Better - Your desires are how you cope and heal.

When Kinky Scenes Go Wrong - How to be a Sir who succeeds, even when things go sideways

Welcome Aboard:  Pay Attention.  This Will Be On the Test! - Don't compare yourself to others.  I see all these people going to several events a year and having all this nice gear and I feel like I’m not good enough. Is this feeling normal? 

Being a Slave-Owning Master Who Is Sadistic, and Sweet - I Was Trained By My First Slave. You heard that right - slaves teach Masters. His needs made him request more from me, rather than just being my boy. I was ignorant, but he asked so sweetly.

How to Become a Legendary Sir - From one who knows

Giving Permission As A Guiding Philosophy.  It works just as well with one, person, or a crowd.

Approval-Based Doms - Don't believe the porn hype.  I am “approval-based.” I am a very, very kinky Sir. And, I can’t imagine why I would need to use punishment, discipline or disapproval.

Real Life Is Not A Porn Video. Adjust Your Expectations Accordingly - Life is NOT like what you see on the screen.

Personality: In order to be true to yourself, you have to know who you are… Strengths AND weaknesses. Take the test here (it usually lasts about ten minutes), and then Google the results. For reference, here is my own personality type.



More articles like these can be found here.


How-To:  Hard Skills

Flogging For Beginners (On Both Ends Of The Flogger): Video Instruction - Watched by over a quarter-million folks, worldwide, in FIVE places on the Web

Public Scene: Barracks Bar in Palm Springs - Watch me in an actual scene with a stranger. I calibrate, check in, and use dozens of play-styles.  It's annotated!

For Tops: Preparation and Seduction, Before Fucking A Newbie's Ass - Easily my most-popular article, ever.

Short Singletail 101 - an instructional video

Video: "Bullshit Bondage" - A Ninety-Second Introduction to Rope Bondage

Video: Styles of Throwing Floggers and Whips

Video: Toy Bag Tour.  There is also a separate, different, AUDIO-only version, that you might find interesting.

Video: Final Part Of Public Scene - Sometimes, it's nice to watch and learn from an expert.

Training and Protocols for a New Submissive - All of this following advice assumes that the sub wants to be of service, and has lasting value for you… not just a passing, one-night stand…

Florentine Flogging, for Visual Learners, Plus Flame Whips and Poi! - A more advanced form of flogging, using two floggers.


Fisting 101, From The Top’s Perspective - Forty years of experience.

Leaving Marks on the Ass That Can't Get Enough - Every kind of impact play on buttocks. One of the men that I mentor has had the incredible good luck to find a submissive who adores heavy play on his ass. Questions arose as a result, and the video is meant to cover those questions.

Toybag Tour, Thud vs. Sting: Floggers and Whips and Such - Learn the Basics

Kinky Playing Without Toys - I recently realized that I have never done an instructional video where I specifically avoid using any form of toys or props. The style of play is subtle, but INTENSE to experience, up close.

Video: Introduction to Slingcraft - Here is the link for buying your own sling and rim chair, plus the Fisting 101 from the Top's Perspective audio.



Opinions


Subs Are Not Some Objects An Alpha (Ab)uses And Tosses Away. - Subs are human beings with whom you reach happiness together. They are (your) subs, because they wanted to submit to you, they desire your domination.

What Does A Sub Need And Get Out Of It? - That is what submissives and slaves and pups and boys and masochists and sissys and moneyslaves and objects and gimps and animals and every kind of submissive want from their dom and their lives.

There is No Shame in Using a Safeword - I typically don’t need safe words with my boys as I’m very good at reading their contractions from things and adjusting. I check in a lot as well. But I usually have one established just in case.

Alphas Are Not Assholes - I’ve been talking to a boy that was very surprised that “I’m so nice to strangers on the internet even though I’m an Alpha”. I just showed him basic decency and talked to him.

If We Wait For The Perfect Submissive, We Will Wait Forever - What if the things that make you inappropriate, broken and JUST PLAIN FUCKED UP are actually your superpowers, and always were?




Valuable Links & Lists

Signs of a Good Dom - mxponysyn: We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom…

A Few Things That Will Make You A More Effective Dominant - 1. Every rule you make, every command you give, should be for the betterment of your submissive, the betterment of your relationship, or the strengthening of the dynamic...

What Books Do You Recommend? - These are what I assign to my mentees and proteges., followed by…

30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Should Know - I am astonished to find something this good on the Advocate Web site.

35 DOs and DON'Ts of a Gay Leather Bar - I was doing research for another article, and happened upon a VERY good article that covers the topic very well.



Reviews of Kinky Gear

Review of Inexpensive, High-Quality Floggers - an old article, updated

Video Review of the 'Thumper' Flogger; with Demos - I review kinky toys periodically. Mostly, those that pertain to Impact Play, because that is my specialty.

The Tommy Tomcat: Video Instructions.  An advanced toy, between a singletail and a flogger.

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