Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!
By Sir Alex - (See other posts by Sir Alex):
The more I write, the more I find myself expanding on things I touched on in other posts. I’m going to do a quick dump of every style of domination I can think of; with the brief understanding I have of it. 5 minutes to think up as many styles as I can.
I have talked at least once about understanding the personality of the dominant you want to serve. It only seems useful to present as many as I can think of for the very newest of submissives. In real life, personalities can combine multiple types below in varying mixes. But for simplicity’s sake I just stated types I could think of. If you can think of other archetypes and provide a good description when you reblog, I’ll reblog it as well.
- Financial dominant: This dominant is most interested in what submissives can do for him financially. These days it is most often done over the internet although it still happens in person. The personality for this archetype is usually arrogant, actively disrespectful, and self absorbed, and entitled. You owe him this money for simply existing in his presence, for him even deigning to notice you. I don’t know much about the practicalities of setting tribute amounts nor what exactly the dominant does in exchange if anything.
- Hypnotist: This dominant’s power comes from his ability to hypnotize you. I think for many people there is a question about whether hypnotism is real. My mentor insisted the answer was yes. I think it’s yes, but it depends on who it is, genetics, maybe willpower, and desire to be hypnotized. A hypnotist uses the lure of control over your mind to draw in submissives. What might you do without your conscious mind putting up inhibitions? Hypnotists are usually calm, confident, and have a quiet intensity about them. Hypnotists also have a tendency to be found online since hypno enthusiasts are not always located nearby.
- Bully: Some dominants fetishize the experience of pushing someone around because they are have an intimidating personality and/or physique. Bullies get off on the transgression of using their intimidation to put someone else in the weaker position. Bullies are usually extremely aggressive, often physically fit, and abusive (duh). Bullies tend to play in person since their body is part of what they draw strength and intimidation from.
- Suave (James Bond): This dominant uses charm and wit to dominate others. Their domination is usually more subtle but inevitable. Very much like James Bond himself. When he starts chatting with a pretty girl in the movies, you just know they’re going to sleep together… it’s inevitable. There is no one physique for this type of dominant since the game is primarily mental. Even if they are quite attractive, it is still their wit and charm that gets them what they want.
- Straight Guy: I really hope you all know about the idolatry surrounding straight men before you read this. Simply put, they’re dominant because they’re straight. Submissives cater to them because they’re a challenge and it’s something of a badge of honor to some guys to get someone to act against their publicly stated sexuality. If you need any examples of straight men and their wide variety of personality types, turn on a TV, open Netflix, or walk outside. There are a seemingly unlimited set of examples.
- Corporate Type: The corporate type is a guy who has a nice suit. He’s probably well off, or at least dresses like he is. He has a refined personality. He is usually calmly assertive, authoritative, and elegant. In this way he has a lot in common with the Suave type. The difference is that the corporate type is using his outfit to imply his social/economic station is high enough that you should cater to his will in hopes he will make you a part of his life which in turn will grant you access to the benefits of his social/economic status. He can be assertive when he really wants something, but he will mostly state or imply his will upfront and expect you to comply or not be contacted again.
- Old Guard Leather: My path through BDSM never included interacting with the old guard. What I have to say is merely observation, and may not be entirely accurate. Old Guard types have the weight of tradition behind them. Old Guard is called such because in the relatively young gay scene their traditions are from at least the time of Stonewall if not before. They have a very particular way of doing things. Dominants start out as submissives to a more experienced Sir and that Sir takes the fledgling dominant under his wing and teaches him his style, technique, and skills. In exchange the fledgling dominant serves that Sir however that Sir sees fit until that Sir says the fledgling dominant is ready to leave his tutelage. They have a disciplined and regimented structure that is highly fraternal to the point of dominants almost conveying pedigree to their mentees. Old Guard types are serious, regimented, and very knowledgeable.
- Sadist: A sadist is someone who enjoys inflicting pain (emotional or physical) on others. The media tends to paint a picture of sadists being akin to sociopaths. Maybe some are, but the sadists I’ve met have a very clear sense of whom and what is a plaything and who isn’t. Sadists have a variety of personality types, serious, intense, or just quiet. Dominance can even take a back seat to the desire to inflict preferred types of pain on others.
- Brat Tamer: A brat tamer is someone who enjoys a submissive who is a challenge, someone who challenges their authority. They get off on getting a submissive to submit. They’ll often get bored with more obedient subs. Brat tamers tend to be energetic and intense. Their dominance is often quiet creative both in their assertion of control and punishment. The challenge of a sub who doesn’t obey gets their creativity going and when they succeed they feel far more powerful for having “won” this round.
- Pup Master: I know far more about pups than their masters. What little I do know about pup masters is that they seek puppies to dominate. Puppies tend to be rather high energy and bubbly so I would expect pup masters to have patience as a trait.
- Alpha: Alphas are men who view themselves and their kinky world around them as completely hierarchical. They’re always at the top of that hierarchy, although others coming in second place are a threat of sorts to their authority (although they might never admit that anyone could even BE a rival). Those who do not submit or make themselves useful are generally ignored. Alphas are self obsessed, strict; their aggression varies, and often has very little patience. They believe themselves kings among men and expect that station to be recognized on sight and catered to.
officerdaddy:
I’m an OldGuardLeather, Sadist Type, with a splash of Alpha…
Have a question or need a friendly ear?
Ask me anything about BDSM at BDSMadviceAlex AT gmail DOT com!
And please, repost my answer if you liked it so others who need to hear this can find it.
Papa Tony:
Looking over the list, I guess that I’m a cross between a Hypnotist and James Bond. I have a Tenth Degree Black Belt in Charisma, so I tend to get what I want. I can convince anybody to go along with the plan, even if they don’t KNOW what the plan is.
Decades ago, I made a conscious choice to use my powers for good, and not for evil, because it would be VERY easy for me to take unfair advantage of people. I choose to be this guy instead:
Looking over the list, I guess that I’m a cross between a Hypnotist and James Bond. I have a Tenth Degree Black Belt in Charisma, so I tend to get what I want. I can convince anybody to go along with the plan, even if they don’t KNOW what the plan is.
Decades ago, I made a conscious choice to use my powers for good, and not for evil, because it would be VERY easy for me to take unfair advantage of people. I choose to be this guy instead:
No comments:
Post a Comment